When it all goes wrong

It just seemed to be one of those days today. Just one thing after another.

In the midst of cleaning up this morning, I thought I accidentally shredded $200 worth of MBV tix. I nearly freaked. They were there one second, gone the next. I was frantic, tossing papers left and right. I ended up cleaning the office twice, and was swearing up a storm the entire time. After an hour of searching, I finally found them…thank god. I can’t afford to throw shit like that away.

But now I was late for work, so I called to say I was running behind, and had to take an muy expensive cab. This $1 extra for gas is bullshit…

Then my new shoes, not even a month old, ripped. So I had to make a quick stop at the store before work so I could get them exchanged, which was for the most part painless…Until I forgot my umbrella there and had to run the two blocks back from work to get it.

I walked into the store , and ended up having to spend an extra 5 minutes in the back room just breathing deeply and trying to regain composure whilst mopping my sweaty mess of my forhead down. Ack. The girls just looked at me like I was a lunatic. I was fine after a moment, but you would have thought I had lost my mind.

Work was mind numbingly slow today too. The worst was having to interact with indecisive people.  I spent nearly an hour with a customer and had them all rung up, until they suddenly changed their mind and decided to wait because they felt they were spending too much. Pissed me off. They just think these things come with all of the necessary accessories included, and that just isn’t so. I was trying to sell them anything ridiculous, just a must haves… completely needed, nothing extravagant. But then jackass whipped out his iPhone (I fucking hate iPhone and anything Apple related) and tried to show me our website when all of these things were included. Once I showed him a DVD does note mean memory card, he backed down a bit, and then had to think about it. Hi you need those things, and shit doesn’t come for free! WTF!?!

On lunch, I realized I had forgotten to buy my nephew a birthday card. Card stores suck, nothing was too my liking. I did manage to find something cool…

Then I had to call mom and ask her to pick up a nice gift for him. She thought ahead and did so, after she reminded me that I never got one of the other boys a birthday or christening gift. Fuck… and I hope my brother doesn’t read this and find out I’m a bad uncle to his kids. And it’s tough, since I was missing nearly 7 hours off of my paycheck, which has been smaller since I left Nokia. Did I mention Nokia bites for dicking me over?

Ergh, and this moron I work with… fucking lazy git. He needs to go away. One of the girls laughed at me, noting how I made no effort to hide my disdain for him. If I was his manager, his ass would be gone already.

And what about this annoying use of the horn by the bus driver? I swear he honked at something every single block. Bicyclists, pedestrian, dogs on the curb, other cars that were not remotely in his way. Geez how aggrivating. Really, do you think it’s necessary to have to lean on the horn? You’re like thos drivers who have no business to be behind the car wheel blowing on a horn because a split second passed from when the light turned green to when the car in front of them starts moving. I wanted to poke him in the eye with the tip of my umbrella… which I just now realized I left at work. Please let it not rain tomorrow.

Aw fuck it, I need a drink.

Battle of the Bike Path: Me vs. wind, bike vs. car

Of all the things I find so dismaying about biking is the one I have absolutely no control over: mother nature.

In honor of Bike To Work week in Chicago, I decided to wheel it to work today, and found that the head wind I was riding into kept me at a sluggish pace. I attribute this partially to me being out of shape and still a smoker, but wow. I was an exhausted sweaty mess upon arriving at work. So when they asked me to go work at another location, and one of my colleagues asked if I was going to bike over there, my exhaustion took over and I responded with ‘hell no!’

It seems so trivial about griping about the wind, but weather can be a definitive adversary in any sport as equally as it can be your friend. Biking along Chicago’s lakefront can make this particularly troublesome, as you never know if the wind will be at your back, which has made for very pleasant riding, or blowing straight on in your face, pushing you to the limit. And the fact that it can change from moment to moment isn’t particularly fun either.

I think the best example of this came about a year or so ago, when I was treking home from a doctor’s appointment. As a came up to Wilson Avenue, A cold front suddenly slammed into Chicago. One moment it was 70° and sunny, and the very next moment the wind was howling and the temperature dropped 20 degrees. It took me an extra 10 minutes to get home, and I was blue knuckled the entire last mile. I was as bitter as the wind was sharp. Ugh.

Sometimes the wind can be a friendly challenger that pushes the body to compensate, and as a result prove to be a better cardio work out. But I remember Alan and I training for the North Shore Century three years ago, and when it hits you like a bus at the 24th mile, you just want to curl up in a ball and cry uncle. The stretch on the south part of the Lakeshore path, just beyond McCormick Place and north of Jackson Park, was some of the most challenging stretches in my biking experience.

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Speaking of getting hit by a bus, one of the associates who works at another store in my company was just struck by a vehicle this past week as he commuted to another store. He was shaken up but all in all is okay. This was yet another reason, in addition to my exhaustion from my morning ride, that I chose to public transit it over to the other store today. Sticking to the lake path is one thing, but riding over onto Clybourn Avenue seemed less enticing and not very good for my health. Thankfully, the associate who was injured did not become one of the five fatalities that has occurred in Chicago since the season has begun.

With more and more people riding bikes to save on gas, the road has become a little more crowded. However, the most recent in these accidents have not been the bikers’ fault, but rather, someone in a vehicle, like the guy who doored a poor cyclist into oncoming traffic, where he was run over and later died. With this recent spate of accidents, I’ve steered more to the paths and less on the main thoroughfares, even those with bike lanes. I know what it’s like to be hit by a car, and flying over the handle bars is not a pleasant experience. What’s more, half the time the drivers act like they are the ones being wronged. How self centered.

I’m not saying cyclists are completely faultless. Take the one guy who ran through an intersection earlier this year and was struck by a car, and died on the scene. We ALL need to follow the rules of the road. Yes, sometimes I do cross at an intersection when I don’t have the light, but it’s usually when there is nothing coming at all. I value my body, and even while I have plenty of cushion to shield me, I don’t relish waking up in a hospital bed, or not getting to wake up ever again, simply because I wanted to ignore the traffic laws.I do wish to say while the man I mentioned about flouted the law, he certainly did NOT deserve to be hit and be killed either.

The flip side is that motorists need to be aware that they are sharing the roads with us. Just like we must be vigilant of pedestrians on the lake front path (even while some of them are not as vigilant or conscious of others around them), drivers need to do the same for us. It’s a big road out there- make some room, pay attention, and please don’t hit me.

4am at Newark Airport, Gates A10-18

Waiting in line in the airport is definitely not my choice place to be at 4 am, but due to our flight to Chicago being canceled yesterday afternoon and having to be back to work today, we left left with little options.

Actually, we had no options at all, as there was no other flights leaving Newark last night with any room, but United put us up at the Wyndham for the night with meal vouchers and an extra $100 each towards any future travels, so they kind of made up for screwing us with the whole debacle.

Anyway, my random observations at Newark this morning:

-The gate guard in the red plaid jacket uses what little power she actually has to annoy passengers at 4 am. Rick and I were the first in line at the gate, and stood where the stanchions ended. Gate guard walked up, grabbed a sign from nearby, and set it down in front of us. The sign said “No standing here” or something like that. Her way of making us move. Then, when the gate was supposed to open at 4:30am, she’s futzing around, straightening the stanchions, one which she moved 5 times back and forth until she was satisfied it was exactly where she wanted it. She then proceeded over to where she ‘moved’ us early with her sign, and then started the line… on the opposite side from where we were, making everyone now have to walk around to her satisfaction. Incidentally, it was 4:36 am at this point, so they opened late.

-4:40 am in the gate area, and no food or concession is open. Rick walks over to Starbucks, where the two women behind the counter glance up and state, ‘Weez not open til 6.’ First off, ‘Weez not open’? I see like Chicago, The NY/ NJ education system has let a few fine people slip through with a firm grasp on grammar and English. And fine, I understand not opening before 5 am, but 6am brings the first flights departing. so everyone who cannot bring liquids through the check point has to miss out on Starbucks and whatnot because you don’t want to open until after we board? You are missing a whole hour of customers, what’s that about? Genius. Needless to say, ‘Weez’ opened at 5:25am.

-Speaking of bringing no liquids through security, I didn’t realize that the rules are different for our airline personnel. A pilot, who wasn’t even working on my flight but was just in transit to Chicago, was able to bring a liter bottle of water through security. Umm, no. If we have to abide by the rules, so does he. Come on, who’s to say he wasn’t Manchurian Candidate’d by Al Qieda to blow up our plane with lighter fluid? Yes I know this is absurd, just like thinking my bottle of Coke would do the same thing, but I, and everyone, cannot do what he was allowed to do. Same ‘common sense’ (ahem) applies.

-On the superstitious side, I looked around and discovered there is no Gate 13. Just like most buildings not having a 13th floor. But they allow flight number 666?

-And if something is not permitted, post a sign saying so. I wanted to do some time elapse images with my camera, and got maybe one test shot off when a woman strode up and nearly snatched my camera away as she snipped at me a curt ‘No pictures’. There was no signs saying I couldn’t (like some NYC stores would post), so I guess I need to be clairvoyant to know this. It annoyed me more than anything, and I wanted to slap her, but I apologized and went to sit down, where I began to call her every nasty name I could think of at 5am in the morning.

I had a lot of fun in Brooklyn this weekend, but I am so glad to be home after this morning.

Rachel Ray is the Anti-Christ and a Jihadist!**

**No, not really, but obviously some very confused people think so.

In what I have to say is the most absurd news of the last week, Dunkin Donuts pulled the latest TV and print ads they were running featuring Rachel Ray, just because she was wearing a scarf around her neck. A black and white scarf. With a paisley print and fringe. As she stood in front of a blossoming cherry tree with an iced coffee in her hand.

Evidentially, people confused this black and white fringed scarf with a paisley print for something representing jihad.

Critics complained that the scarf wrapped around her looked like a kaffiyeh, the traditional Arab headdress. They say such scarves have come to symbolize Muslim extremism and terrorism.

I can see iced coffee being confused for an evil, but a scarf? Really?

My friend Steve commented just this morning that a stylist probably picked that out for her to wear. And it’s paisley fer goodness sake. I know she may be the second coming of Oprah and all, but a Muslim extremist supporter? Pu-leez.

Some people have way too much time on their hands and just want to make noise over nothing at all.

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Speaking of Oprah, I just read a great interview with David Sedaris where he kind of calls her out for feeding James Frey to the lions on her show over the whole memoir-gate debacle. He comments in the recent Entertainment Weekly, “His punishment outweighed the  crime,” adding “I don’t recall Oprah Winfrey calling George Bush a liar when he was on her show. And those lies cost thousands of people their lives.”

How very true indeed.

Battle of the Bike Path: Prologue

It was inevitable that this would become grist for the mill…

As the warmer weather has finally begun to consistently grace Chicago, I have made my return to riding my bike along the Lake Shore Path. Correction: Rick’s bike, as mine was stolen last December from our basement by some evil person who broke it. Anyway, I decided to bike to work both Saturday and Sunday as the weather was very favorable, and for the most part, boy it was fantastic to be back out riding! I say this while nursing my sore ass, which has yet to adapt to the bike seat for the season, but it feels so nice to be out riding, getting sun and exercise, and not having to deal with the crazy old CTA.

The trade off is that I have to deal with the crazy old path pests.

Every year I bitch to my friends about this, and now that I am full swing into the blogging thing, I will now share the trials and terrors of traversing Chicago’s lake front bike trail.

I need to start off with the clarifier that it is indeed labeled a bike trail, as Chicago is working its way to being one of the country’s top bike friendly cities. The irony I find however, is that while the path is labeled a bike trail, with bike markings and signs along it, we have been told by the city that pedestrians actually have the first priority and right of way on this path. Of course I think this is absurd and completely unfair. It is a clear law in this city that bicyclists cannot ride on the sidewalks, which is one of the reasons they created the trails and street paths. Yet pedestrians are allowed on the bike paths without nary a thought? Bullshit to that I say.

But I will get more into that later. For now, I just wish to make note that this is the first part of what should be an interesting, on-going summer series of rants, tantrums and observations- from the bicyclists’ point of view. Stay tuned!