4am at Newark Airport, Gates A10-18

Waiting in line in the airport is definitely not my choice place to be at 4 am, but due to our flight to Chicago being canceled yesterday afternoon and having to be back to work today, we left left with little options.

Actually, we had no options at all, as there was no other flights leaving Newark last night with any room, but United put us up at the Wyndham for the night with meal vouchers and an extra $100 each towards any future travels, so they kind of made up for screwing us with the whole debacle.

Anyway, my random observations at Newark this morning:

-The gate guard in the red plaid jacket uses what little power she actually has to annoy passengers at 4 am. Rick and I were the first in line at the gate, and stood where the stanchions ended. Gate guard walked up, grabbed a sign from nearby, and set it down in front of us. The sign said “No standing here” or something like that. Her way of making us move. Then, when the gate was supposed to open at 4:30am, she’s futzing around, straightening the stanchions, one which she moved 5 times back and forth until she was satisfied it was exactly where she wanted it. She then proceeded over to where she ‘moved’ us early with her sign, and then started the line… on the opposite side from where we were, making everyone now have to walk around to her satisfaction. Incidentally, it was 4:36 am at this point, so they opened late.

-4:40 am in the gate area, and no food or concession is open. Rick walks over to Starbucks, where the two women behind the counter glance up and state, ‘Weez not open til 6.’ First off, ‘Weez not open’? I see like Chicago, The NY/ NJ education system has let a few fine people slip through with a firm grasp on grammar and English. And fine, I understand not opening before 5 am, but 6am brings the first flights departing. so everyone who cannot bring liquids through the check point has to miss out on Starbucks and whatnot because you don’t want to open until after we board? You are missing a whole hour of customers, what’s that about? Genius. Needless to say, ‘Weez’ opened at 5:25am.

-Speaking of bringing no liquids through security, I didn’t realize that the rules are different for our airline personnel. A pilot, who wasn’t even working on my flight but was just in transit to Chicago, was able to bring a liter bottle of water through security. Umm, no. If we have to abide by the rules, so does he. Come on, who’s to say he wasn’t Manchurian Candidate’d by Al Qieda to blow up our plane with lighter fluid? Yes I know this is absurd, just like thinking my bottle of Coke would do the same thing, but I, and everyone, cannot do what he was allowed to do. Same ‘common sense’ (ahem) applies.

-On the superstitious side, I looked around and discovered there is no Gate 13. Just like most buildings not having a 13th floor. But they allow flight number 666?

-And if something is not permitted, post a sign saying so. I wanted to do some time elapse images with my camera, and got maybe one test shot off when a woman strode up and nearly snatched my camera away as she snipped at me a curt ‘No pictures’. There was no signs saying I couldn’t (like some NYC stores would post), so I guess I need to be clairvoyant to know this. It annoyed me more than anything, and I wanted to slap her, but I apologized and went to sit down, where I began to call her every nasty name I could think of at 5am in the morning.

I had a lot of fun in Brooklyn this weekend, but I am so glad to be home after this morning.