CTA strikes again!

Livid is the only word that can describe me after a fiasco of a train ride the other night.

I managed to get off of work early on Saturday, and decided to ehad out and join Rick M. and co at Big Chick’s for Euchre. I was thrilled that I was walking out of the store in Evanston only a quarter past 4 on a Saturday afternoon, especially since I still managed to work 50 hours this week. I meandered down Davis Street, made a quick stop in the 7/11 to get smokes, and was able to sneak one in before grabbing a 4:35 train to Howard. I was a bit tired, so I rested my eyes for the normally 10 minute trip.

I now have become used to sitting on the train outside of Howard for a bit, as it’s typical that the Purple Line, in its descent toward the Howard station, ends up coming to a stop just beyond the train yard, and with those three annoying beeps the automated rote CTA announcement blares over the train speakers: “Attention passengers, we are standing momentarily, waiting for signals ahead. We expect to be moving shortly.” So naturally on this ride i didn’t as much look up, and instead sat back, my head resting against the cool tempered window, waiting for the train to pull in so we could all disembark and make our transfers, with mine being to the Red Line. It wasn’t until after a moment, when a second announcement was made by the conductor himself, asking for our momentary patience, that I took note of the situation around me.

It was a mere 4:46pm, so I still had almost an hour to get to Argyle and the bar, but the yard below us was packed. A Yellow Line, from Skokie, was just pulling up, and crept to a stop just beyond the overpass on which my train sat. Not one, but two Red Line trains, evidentally just in from the south side, were stalled in the turnaround. Behind us, another Purple Line sat, just at the crest of the hill, waiting for us to pull in. With the knowledge that Howard station was down to a mere two platforms, as the regular weekend construction on the center lanes was commencing, I knew we might be in for a bit of a wait.

How long of a wait, however, was the most criminal part.

We sat on the train in limbo, watching both Red line trains as well as a third one, and the Skokie train, all pull up and into the station. For 45 minutes. Yes folks, it wasn’t until 5:25pm that my train finally pulled up to the platform and let us off of it. miracles of miracles, no one had gotten ill, had any kind of medical fiasco, or anything like that in all of the time we sat there, because Lord knows there really wasn’t much of a way off the train. However, we were a rowdy, rather pissed off bunch, annoyed at the long wait, the fact that no one on the platform knew what was going on, and many of us running behind for some other appointment or such.

Immediately a few of my fellow passengers began to drill CTA personnel on the platform on what the delay had been. The first reply had been the ever intelligent, ‘Uh, gee, sorry, I’m not sure,’ which of course did not soothe our tempers. Then, as one of the conductors was attempting to re board the train we had just left so to move it to the opposite side, we inquired when the next Red Line would be coming in. His response was absurd, ignorant and completely insensitive:’Gee, you just missed one, it just left.’ Unfuckingbelievable! I immediately snapped back at him, ‘Well, gee, maybe if we all had not been TRAPPED on the fucking train out there, maybe we wouldn’t have missed it!’ He simply shrugged, shut the door, and went on his merry way.

Then announcements began to echo over the platform, ‘We apologize. blah blah blah, signal errors, blah blah blah…’ with the notification that it would also be an extended period before the next southbound train would be arriving. It was now 5:35pm, and wanting to get to cards on time, I headed to the far end of the platform to find the exit, and descended to the bus stop below… where not one bus of the 8 routes that pull into Howard was anywhere in site. What the fuck is going on?I tried to hail a cab for another 5 minutes, but seeing that others around me were scrambling to do the same, I sprinted to Clark Street, just a block west. There I was able to flag a cab that got me to Chicks with minutes to spare.

I was FURIOUS, and still am. What the fuck kind of ridiculous transit system is this city trying to pawn off on us? There is no excuse for leaving passengers trapped on a train for a period longer than 10 minutes, unless there was a serious accident or it was for our safety. This situation involved neither of these scenarios, it came down to human stupidity and laziness, and all around piss poor organization. The system has to be fixed, and soon. If I ever have to sit like that on a train again, Ron Huberman’s head is going to roll, and I will have his job… and his balls.

On Shawn, Nastia, Jonathan, Michael, et al.

Every time the Olympics come around, I always say that I don’t have any interest in watching them. Not because I hate it, just because I’m so involved in other things, it’s secondary, and I shrug it off.

Then I catch an event that features one of our new medalist, and I’m blown away. I’m awed. I’m hooked. And I find myself drawn to a TV whenever an pivotal event is coming on. The sheer physicality and strength that these people have, to be able to compete with their equals from around the world, and truly be recognized for being the best of the best, who wouldn’t be drawn to it?

Take for example Michael Phelps going for his record gold medal. Many people find him polarizing… he’s either a hero and a god, or he’s jut an overexposed celeb that is overshadowing others who deserve to be recognized. I’m on the fence in this regard, only because while I agree that the press has made these games the Michael Phelps show, it was the 4 x 100m Men’s Free race that the US team won (and he was part of) that got me hooked on watching. The sheer amazment the group I was with had as Jason Lezak, who was almost a full length behind the French in that final lap, came up and won not only in a world record time, but by a mere 10th of a second and a finger!

But back to Phelps. I was at a party on Saturday night, and suddenly someone suggested we go down and watch Phelps final race. 10 people descended around a fuzzy TV screen to watch a historical moment. I didn’t know half of these people before the party, nor will I probably see them again except for another similar gathering, but for one moment we were all together, all completely different people, but gathered in awe at this man’s achievement.

I happened to catch Jonathan Horton in his gold medal winning High Bar gymnastic performance just two nights ago, and again I was amazed. I bitch about the pain in my arm from doing a few push ups, and then I look at this kid- yeah he’s in his early 20’s, but he’s a kid compared to me- and I feel a little inferior. Who can’t for a moment? But that’s also the beauty of these games… theses people train their entire lives to do this, not to make the rest of us feel fat or unhealthy, but to awe, to inspire, to do for us what we cannot.

The girls are just as amazing. Props to the Williams sister for taking gold in doubles tennis. Congrats to  Misti- May Treanor and Kerri Walsh for not only 108 consecutive beach volleyball victories, but for that gold they sealed with win 108. As I write this, our women’s soccer team won their third gold in 4 games, defeating Brazil.

And then we have that duo we call Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin. Between the two of them, they (with the rest of the women’s gymnastics team) flipped, jumped, swung and for the most part defied gravity to win 8 medals, including top two for balance beam and the all around individual exercises. Regardless if those Chinese girls were way to young to compete (whether or not they were, they still looked like 12 year olds tramped out with too much makeup), our girls overcame and each took a gold home for the team. The sheer excitement in Shawn’s face when she just knew she sealed the gold on the balance beam, while detractors could say it was youthful hubris, was really pride knowing she worked her ass off and she was the best. It was incredible.

And so now these names are now added to the growing lexicon of US Olympians, to join Mary Lou Retton, Kerri Strung, Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Brandy Chastain and so many others, who went for the gold and brought it back, to inspire us when frankly there is so little to inspire us with, and now be featured in Nike and Wheaties adds for the next few months.

But the cool thing is that we’re not the only ones to be inspired in such a way. Take India, who for the first time in history, have two medalist… Abhinav Bindra, a gold medalist in shooting, and a bronze in wrestling from Sushil Kumar. 1 billion people, and their first medals in the history of the games. Or how about Rohullah Nikpai from Afghanistan, who won a bronze in taekwando. This is Afghanistan’s first medal ever. And this guy is going to get a house for it! I read people in Kabul were conserving their electricity just so they could listen to the match. That’s insane.

But that’s just what the Olympics can do. It’s inspiring. It’s heroic. It’s everything the Greeks designed it to be. I need to remember that everytime it comes on. Sometimes we all need a little inspiration.

People who call out sick are dead to me

I’m a tad pissed off.

I was very much looking to enjoy my first day off in 7 days. The Manchester United season was kicking off this morning, it was a sunny and beautiful day, and I was going to sleep in.

Then I was awaken this morning just after 9 am, with a slight hangover to boot,  by the house phone ringing. Then a ding on my cell phone, a text message received. I groggily got up to listen to the answering machine, and while I read the text message of the same tenor, I heard the voice mail that had been left by one of my sales associates: she was not going to make it in to work today… because she had a headache.

Not wanting to talk to her, I hastily texted back to see if she had bothered to try to get someone to cover her shift, knowing full well two things were true: that one, no she had not, and two, sadly there really wasn’t anyone to pick up the shift.

Which meant I was going to have to go into work on my day off… for the third time in two weeks.

As I showered, my initial emotional reaction was frustration and tears. I am so utterly exhausted by this fucking job, working 50 hours a week every week, open to close, and sometimes with no breaks during the day. I’ve had to give up days off, so I’ve been pretty much getting maybe one a week for the past few weeks. Honestly, there doesn’t seem to be a respite from that in the next few weeks. It’s draining, and no matter how many pills I pop, it’s grating on me. Of course, having a slight headache from too much tequila last night probably enhanced these feelings slightly, so it made my emotional breakdown all a little bit more, well, emotional. But damn it, I can’t hold it all in!

And then my demeanor changed, from disappointed and sad to angry and bitter.

The excuse this girl used to call off is the work equivalent to having a hang nail. Don’t get me wrong, I have called off from work for headaches before. Ususally though, it’s accompanied by severe blinding pain and vomiting, you know, migraine level. And perhaps I would believe she had a migraine, except last night she and her boyfriend had a party at their house. I know, since I was invited to it (and gracefully declined- I went and played euchre with Rick M.). They most likely got loaded, like I did, and then she woke up with a Effen headache. And since he had the day off as well the likelihood of her being in bed all day long-particularly with kids- is highly unlikely.

Her text said that she’s had this headache for three days, and her tooth is bothering her, blah blah. So take some Excedrine and get on with the day. She’s used the tooth ache excuse before, and mentioned that she has an appointment coming up to get it fixed. Is it really that debilitating that you must stay at home all day? Get over it!  I have. Other people do too. But to call off? And with me knowing that you also felt pretty perky yesterday at work and had a party at your house last night? Fucking lame excuse, and a example of pure laziness.

I got to work, and stayed for a few hours. Luckily, since it was an extraordinarily slow day, i managed to escape by 2pm. But I missed the soccer match, and my opportunity to sleep in. It put a cramp in my day.

The funniest part is that not two days ago, she asked me for a raise. But considering that she’s not been a reliable associate with attendance (not even including today’s fiasco), that she will be going to school next month part time,  that as a result of her taking too much on her plate she has chosen to step down from full to part time, and now has a new second job, what do you think her chances would be of getting that raise? Any takers?

Overheard at a Jewish dinner party…

Rick and I got to enjoy an evening in Evanston at the lovely home of one of his former William Sonoma coworkers, Ann.

Things were off to an interesting start when we arrived and were greeted by Ann’s husband, Sidney, giving everyone the low down on their excitement of the day: the local winos broke into their screened in porch and stole three bottles of red that were for the party! The police had actually just left before everyone started arriving, noting that no suspects were in custody, but they were pretty sure they knew who stole it.

It was the dinner conversation that was just had me in stitches. Just a few highlights…

-When Rick was telling people about how we refinished the old built in that he had rescued from the neighbor’s dumpster, one of the men looked at us and said, “I take it you’re not Jewish, are you?”.

-Same man was sharing about how his wife was going to rabbi for Judaism conversion classes, and during one session, expressed her concern she was anti-Semitic. “How do you mean?” the rabbi asked.             ‘Well, I just get so hateful when I’m shopping at Sunset Grocery (in Highland Park, a very affluent and predominately Jewish neighborhood), and those women just are so rude and cut in front of me.”                     The rabbi nods, pauses for a moment, and replied, ‘Well, then, I guess that makes me Anti-Semitic too.’

-I was taking about photo enlargements, and suddenly one of the men said, “Enlargements? I get messages about enlargements almost daily! Pumps, pills, you name it, it all about enlargement.’ Yes folks, I swear, we took a wild left and detoured to a conversation about penis enlargement spam messages.

-When I mentioned that the wild conversation was going to be the highlight of my next blog post, everyone laughed, and someone gave me the title for this post: “You can call it, ‘Things I heard at the Jewish dinner party’!”

It’s all true… every word.

News of the weird and annoying

Former American idol and current Spamelot star Clay Aiken became a father today.

No I am not making this up. That statement alone should be setting off alarms in everyone’s head.

Yes it’s true, someone actually had a baby with Mr. Aiken. And no, it wasn’t kd lang, for as everyone knows, like Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clay is kd.

There are so many things wrong with this factoid that I can barely begin to list them. Clay Gaykin, reproducing? Did the kid come out with soft androgynous features and a mullet? Will Aiken Jr be an alsoran on American Idol 2025? Why isn’t this running as a SciFi Channel special report? How will the Claymates react?

Read more, if you dare, here.

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Now this link made me laugh out loud…

Yahoo! has their trendy and trashy version of TMZ, called OMG!. It’s a bit ridiculous and unnecessary, but as I was browsing through, there was an actual heading that said ‘Trainwrecks’. Curiosity got the best of me, and I clicked the link, and was brought to a page with about a dozen Amy Winehouse news blurbs, with the occasionally Heather Mills and Christy Brinkley bulletin thrown in as well.

While I hardly call the former Mrs. Billy Joel a train wreck (I mean, come on, she’s no Nick Nolte), the Winehouse bulletins were hysterical. My favorite has to be:Dad: Amy Winehouse Could Die “Slow and Painful Death”

Gotta love it when even your dad is routing for you.

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Brett Farve… who else is sick of hearing about his sob story?

I mean, what a cry baby. First, he retired. Then he wanted to come back. ‘They made me do it,’ he said. Yes Brett, they put a gun to your head and said retire or die.

Then he got to come back, although wisely, the rest of the team moved on without his. So they traded him… to the Jets. Boy, they certainly didn’t want him hanging around the Midwest at all. I guess Siberia didn’t have room on their roster for him either.

The not so bad part is that I’ve heard so much about it without even wanting or caring to that I had a really strange and very hot beach fantasy sex dream with him in it the other night.

Hey I never said I’d kick him out of bed…

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and finally, I leave you with this:

Snoop Dogg makes Bollywood debut

To quote Nina Garcia, ‘no comment’.