Line jumpers

One thing I find annoying yet somewhat amusing is the way people rush and push their way through life’s everyday minutia.
Maybe it’s at the supermarket or at checkout in Target. Perhaps it’s waiting to get the best seat at the movies. Sometimes it’s while waiting for the train or bus. Wherever it is, it’s a trip to watch people run to get first in line.
Okay, admit it, there are times you do it too. Hell, I do it, if I’m running late. We’re human, it’s natural to do it. But what gives me a rash is when people think they are entitled to be first, and simply walk in front of everyone else. You remember these people… from our school days, they are the ones who thought they could just cut or jump the line. Like they were something special.
And it’s the same ones who do it today. For instance, the women at the bus stop in Evanston, when a bus approaches, they run up and push their way past everyone else to get on the bus first. I’ve actually had these women knock into me once or twice. They act like the bus is going to leave them behind, or that they have a right to board first, but frankly, why not wait in line like everyone else?
The issue become that people become complacent and let this become the norm. Come on folks, stop it! Say something. Even if it’s as simple as, “Hey, what’s the hurry?” or as telling as, “Hey asshole! Who the fuck do you think you are!?”, let’s end it. Because no one needs to go through life thinking they are that entitled.

New year, new look, new rants, same old stupid people

For those who haven’t noticed, it’s 2010 (That’s Twenty-ten, not two thousand and ten). So I’m trying a new look for the page. Trendy? Unnecessary? Unsightly? Perhaps. But then again, it’s my page, so why not.

Some things will not change. Like Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh… yep, they are still douche bags, particularly since they blame the people of Haiti for the earthquake devastation that befell them. That’s right, all of those devil worshipers from Haiti two centuries ago made a deal with Satan… to live in an impoverish third world country just so it all can be destroyed by mother nature and plate tectonics today, kill thousands, make people suffer even more and have the rest of the world rush to their aid to help.

Yep, that sounds like a real win/win for the people there, right?

If this was really a deal with the devil, Pat, maybe I’m dense but I don’t see where Haiti ever got the advantage in all of this. Oh, wait, maybe because that line of thinking is completely insane? Needless to say, Rush and Pat are heartless morons that need to die. And bonus to Keith Olbermann for telling them where to go and how far.

And in Chicago… we still have Todd Stroger, Cook County Board President, who vows to thank himself if he wins reelection to the board. For what, managing to stay alive and not get his ass beaten down for being a crook? Or for hypnotizing the poor of Chicago into believing that raising taxes and paying his family six figures to do nothing is good for the city? And Blago… when did being a crooked governor with the worst hair this side of Trump permit him celebrity status? The hair…aha… that’s how he managed a spot on Celebrity Apprentice. At least we have the Olympics… oooh, too soon? Whatever. But we still have great reliable public transit…just kidding again, it’s still the CTA. And they are cutting back yet again. Pay more for less service, that sounds reasonable to me. And if you have to travel after midnight, good luck after February 7. And be glad I don’t have a car to park at one of those $4.25 an hour meters.

Ooh, let’s go back to celebrities for a moment. Jay Leno and NBC… yeah, that’s a big old mess. Yeah to Conan for escaping with $45 million and his dignity, it’s way past time to escape that sinking ship. And way to go Law & Order: SVU’s Mariska Hargitay for calling out Leno and his prime time foray for bringing everyone else down. Don’t mess with Olivia Benson, Jay you half moon chinny chin chin wonder-mess, she’ll cut a bitch! And speaking of cutting bitches, who told MTV that NY trash was worth watching? That’s why they send it all to the Jersey Shore. I mean, come on, Snooki? She’s the Pillsbury doughgirl with Princess Leia’s cinnabun on top of her head. This is not entertainment. If I wanted to watch that kind of train-wreck, I’ll just ride the 36 Broadway bus on a given day.

Yep, out with the old, in with the same old. And smile like you mean it.

Bad taste in my mouth from stupid diners

My friend Alan and I got a chance to catch up this morning, during which we discussed the interesting post from Chowhound that his wife Erin sent him. Alan suspects the forward was her attempt to piss him off, but it ended up inflaming me more.

In short, the thread was regarding a self proclaimed ‘foodie’ couple’s excursion to a famous New Orleans restaurant, where they proceeded to order an item off of the menu which contained a key ingredient that the husband disliked, and thusly asked the Chef to change it. The Chef, in turn, said he would not alter his plate, and recommended another choice. The couple pressed for a change, and when the Chef refused to acquiescent they were offended and felt that the Chef was out of line. Several of the posts that followed this one chimed in with agreement.

Stop right there. There are so many things wrong with this couple’s argument, I hardly know where to begin. First of all, what is the whole point to going to a fine restaurant? I don’t know about you, but for me and most of the people I know, it’s the experience. I am choosing to put my taste buds in the hands of the Chef. I want to experience his point of view, what his vision is, and a taste of what he thinks marrys well together. Most of the time, it’s pretty genius. You go in with an open mind and stomach, you exit thrilled, tantalized and satiated. The issue I see with this person’s story is that they don’t seem to have that same open minded experience. They think they are some kind of experts to tell a Chef what to serve with what? And you accuse him of leaving you with a bad taste? Please, the only kind of taste these fucks have are in their mouth, and like their asshole, is just as shitty. Not to mention, you deliberately ordered an item with a food you didn’t like (and the fact the guy doesn’t like Stilton? What the fuck?), and expected a substitution. Were you deliberately picking a fight with the chef? I bet you take candy from children too and cough as you walk by a smoker out of doors.

Unless you have a severe allergy to a food item, substitution of an item in a dish is not acceptable. This goes back to the flavor profile the Chef has set out to create to maximize his guest’s experience at the restaurant. The Chef in this story sent the waiter back out and clearly stated that he would not make a substitution in the dish, and suggested a different one. It’s a salad, folks, pick another one! But yet the man demanded the original dish with the alteration. At this point, had I been the Chef, I would have emerged from the kitchen, politely stated to the couple change in that dish was not an option, and either select another dish or have a lovely evening and depart.

It galls me that these people (and evidently, other Chowhound posters) feel that they are the patrons, and in effect have every right to tell the Chef what and when. Um, no, you do not. At fine restaurants and the like, what the chef has created is what the chef is making. Going back to what I said, it’s about letting your control issues go and giving yourself up to the experience. If you don’t like a food, don’t eat it. Don’t even order it. But to ask it to be special made, and then get up in arms about it? If you want it your way, then go to fucking Burger King. Better yet, go home and make it yourself. How would you feel to have someone come into your place of business and dictate, without knowledge and experience of what you do, how it’s done or why it’s done that way, how to do YOUR job? Let’s up it here for a moment: you have a dinner party, and you’re serving chicken. I am not allergic to chicken, but I sit there and say, “I knew you were having a dinner party and this was the menu, but now that we are all sitting, I want shrimp instead. And now.” You’d tell me to piss off. You’d probably tell me to leave and rightly so. Well, you are doing the same thing in THE CHEFS HOUSE. You are all acting like little bitches, and you need to shut up, eat up, and quit your fucking complaining.

So, on behalf of the Chef(s) being targeted in this instance and everywhere, I say to all you picky eater ‘foodie’ pretentious folk, PISS OFF. And don’t come back, the kitchen is closed.