The Oreo that broke the camel's back

It’s been sometime since I’ve posted on here, and leave it to some dumb ass comments about Oreos to get me rolling again.

In case you don’t live on Facebook like some people do,  the Oreos page posted the above picture and message this week in time for many Gay Pride celbrations going on all over the country. It’s a simple, nice sentiment: celebrate love.

The posts that came shortly afterwards, however, are proof that ignorance prevails:

These are only a few gems. You can see a whole lot more at this link here, or on the Oreo FB page. It appalls me that people are so mind numbingly stupid about things. It makes me glad that the law in Chicago regarding handguns is so strict, because you would not want me to have one or I might go on a little spring cleaning. Just saying.

But I’m gutted over this for a few reasons. First of all, you boycott a company for supporting unity and love in the world? WTF? So obviously you not only hate cookies, but now you declare your bias towards people who are different from you. That’s so genius! Then comes the comments. ‘Gays need to leave America, or my favorite, ‘it should be a crime’ to be gay. Well, I guess that’s better than putting us all behind an electric fence and burning us alive. Because, after all, this is the 1500’s and it’s the Inquisition. Wait, someone did suggest that we should all be sequestered to an island somewhere and ‘share aids together!’ , so I guess that is similar. Why not go further…make like the Salem witch trials and see which of us drown and which of us sink? Or bringing back the guillotine as corporeal punishment for the drag queens? ‘Let them eat Oreos’, I can hear them cry, as they drag us off to the dungeons before we are drawn and quartered.

I mean, what century is this?

But the best part are the religious comments: It’s a sin. God says homosexuals are evil. Die faggots, burn in hell. The Bible says you should be stoned, go to hell, burn, blah blah blah. Gee if I wanted to hear that talk I could call my Uncle Mike or my brother Matt, I’m sure they would be more than willing to share their feelings on the subject. Which, of course, is completely wrong. The Bible is how old? And statement in that book taken verbatim today, well then let’s line up Bristol Palin, John Edwards and a chorus of other people who are not gay but have sinned because, you know, we would stone them too. Or cut their tongue out. Because that’s completely rational. Not only that, but no where in the 10 commandments or the beatitudes does it say ‘thous shall condemn and kill homosexuals.’ I looked, not there.  And unless you just got off the phone with God or received a tweet from him, just shut the fuck up. No one can truly say ‘I know God says, believes or means’ whatever. Because you don’t. And if you have had a conversation with him, I think it would be more along the lines of, why can’t you people all just get along? And just shut up or I will have to send the plague to wipe your stupid asses out.

It’s been a tenuous year around the rights of gay marriage and gay rights, and I am seeing more and more the derisiveness and hatred that people are spilling into the everyday. It’s no longer live and let live, it’s die. And I’m particularly disappointed in the southern black religious group who recently declared that our fight is not one of civil rights, because instead of being supportive and unified, they segregated us… ironically, much like they had been more than 40 years ago. But then, this…to see people get inflamed, spew hatred and ignorance, because one of the most beloved cookies ever takes a picture of it’s likeness, and put a rainbow of layers in between the caps, just to show their support of the community. For me, it’s become a tipping point, to say the least.

Maybe the gay community needs to strike back. I watched a show just this past Sunday morning about the Stonewall riots in 1969, when homosexuality was illegal. We were being killed in the streets, had to live behind closed doors. And we finally rose up and got angry and struck back. Well, 43 years later, I’m wondering if it isn’t time for the community to run riot again. We’ve gone from having a difference of opinions to outright hatred and vitriol. I’m tired of it. So maybe we need to start taking a more aggressive stance against the attacks. I know I will be. Because I’m done. I don’t want to live in this kind of world anymore. I’m going to fight to see some change.

And I’ll be armed with Oreos.

Best of Glee 2010

I love Glee.
It’s a fun show, and some of the music is damn catchy, and I will not apologize for loving it.
There are Glee haters out there. Hey it’s not for everyone. But I don’t understand the derisive hatred for it. I know one guy who is such a Broadway show tune freak and he loathes the show, calling it stupid and full of non talents. Uh, hello, how many Broadway stars have been on this show? This should be a show tune-loving gays’ wet dream!
I find the dislike of the show contradictory by many, but just like I can loathe Kanye, they can hate on Glee… except my reasons for loathing Kanye are valid as he’s a narcissistic egomaniac no talent hack with delusions of being superior to all others when he can only auto tune, but I digress.
Yes Entertainment Weekly needs to tone done on the daily updates so it doesn’t become Glee Weekly. But it’s fun, most of the music is good, and doesn’t your heart break for Kurt (Emmy nominee Chris Colfer)?
And sometimes they can even improve upon a song. It’s rare, but it does happen.
So here, separate from my other music lists, is my favorite Glee tracks of the year. If you haven’t listen before, check them here. Some of them are worth the listen.

Emma sing Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me from the Rocky Horror Glee Show

Kurt sings I Wanna Hold You Hand

The cast covers Florence + the Machines

and sorry Katy Perry, but this version is better than your

The infection of hate

As Gay Pride day wraps up nationwide, I looked at the online media reports regarding the parades. What saddens me is the spew of hatred and religious dogmatic vomit that people felt inspired to post in response to a day that is designed to represent a movement towards equality.
These days, the hatred seems to spring from all directions, and place the blame of this ‘corruption of morals’ and ‘liberal machinations’. One guy on Yahoo! went as far to say that a day of family is ruined by seeing two gay people holding hands and kissing.
Amazing stuff.
What does this all do? it just causes an infection of hate to spread. What happened to love your fellow man? It seems in our post 9/11 world we have only learned that hate is the best way to treat people from different walks of life, sexual preference, race and religion. Culture is training people to hate Muslims, blame ‘queers’ for pedophilia and accuse a black President of being a socialist.
It’s disgusting. And unfortunately no going anywhere soon.
People often wonder why I can’t keep my mouth shut when I feel angered or annoyed by the stupidity and hatred of others. It’s because I’m tired of being treated as a pariah, as the one who doesn’t have his head on straight. I don’t hate people… I hate their ignorance. I hate that they misuse religion or politics to further an agenda that is hateful towards other humans. It’s encouraging rage and destruction. What I do here isn’t destructive, it’s voicing my opinion. And the argument can be made that these other people have a right to their opinion, but I have to ask, when an opinion is so vicious and driven by violence, is it a right or freedom? Or is it just dangerous?
For example, Innocent Bystander, a Yahoo! member since: 06/19/2010, posted this online:
now that these gay freaks are in one place
this would be the perfect time to nuke them
and wipe the off the face of the earth
the less we see their pervert face
the better for humanity
This kind of commentary and language only furthers an agenda of hate, and pretty much insinuates murder as a solution. Genocide. How nice. How far we have evolved in the past 70 years.
I get so angry, and I really want to hate this person. But obviously they are too stupid to realize that they just condemned a group of people that may include a friend, a teacher or a relative. They are so insecure and ignorant that they have to feel superior by tearing someone else down.
The saddest thing is that most people feel this way about one group or another, and if everyone had their wish come true, no one would be left standing.

Happy Pride!

I’m taking it easy from Pride this year. In fact, while I had initially planned to walk in the parade here in Chicago with my company, the threat of being literally struck by lightening due to severe thunderstorms in the area, and due to the fact that Rick just returned home yesterday, made me want to lay low.
To all of those out there, enjoy Gay Pride, and remember why we have it. Not just to get wasted in the streets and party like it’s Carnival.
Anyway, here’s some new Kylie to get everyone in the mood, and in continuation of my summer music series.

Something not to be subjected to.

This morning I received one of those automated phone surveys asking me several questions, all of them directly linked to the Republican candidate for Illinois governor, Bill Brady.

It’s my day off, and I don’t have anything better to do at the moment, so let me take a few minutes to answer it. Why not? And I’m glad I did.

The first few questions were around whether I supported the reasoning for high school students and their parents to choose what school to go to rather than be subjected to violence and danger in their neighborhood. With all of thew violence against Chicago Public students in the past few years, I feel that if parents can afford it or have a choice, why not? If the kids are serious about education and it’s the neighborhood issue, why not let them go somewhere else? I don’t encourage letting the violence infect other schools and neighborhoods, but if they want to learn, they should have that opportunity.

The next few questions started taking a slant towards differentiating between Democratic candidate Pat Quinn and Mr. Brady. Do I support the raising of taxes that Mr. Quinn has seemingly endorsed? No, especially in a city with the highest tax rate in the country. Between income, sales and property taxes, I feel like I give half of my money to the state of Illinois as it is. So no, I don’t want my taxes increased.

But the questions that followed, which continued along a similar vein, gave me cause for alarm. Do I support a bill being introduced by some Pastor guy allowing for kids to be given money so they can go to any school of their choosing, whether it be Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, etc.? Uh, no. First of all, religious individuals don’t need to be mixing in matters of state, that’s where things get weird because religious dogma begins to cloud the situation and the next thing you know, just because the Bible says it’s so means it’s a bad thing. Sure enough, next question comes, ‘In regards to abortion, do you consider yourself Pro- life?’. No, because I think people should get to decide what goes on with their own bodies, and if they think their God is pissed at them for doing something, that’s between them and their God.

So I look at Mr. Brady’s beliefs, and sure enough, he supports teaching creationism in Illinois’ schools. In fact, he wants to eliminate the state Board of Education, which is it’s own entity, in favor for a group that reports to the governor. And does what he wants. And now he’s controlling what gets taught in schools and what doesn’t, like yes for creationism but no to abortion and sex education. Uh, no, we want to keep it independent so a group of people can come to a consensus and not let one person dictate docterine.

Meanwhile, Mr. Brady supports Pro-life, and banning all abortion even in cases or rape and incest. So when a 12 year old girl is raped by her uncle and forced to have the baby, that’s okay. But to choose to terminate the pregnancy…that’s not??? Wow, a man telling all women what to do. That is so… neanderthal. You know, If a woman wants to have an abortion, I see that as being one’s inalienable right to themselves. Their body. I wouldn’t do it personally, but I would want to have a say it what goes on in my life. Because it’s my life. And I refuse to argue with people who say it’s murder or it’s a sin, because not you are trying to force your religious beliefs or morality on me. Once again, my choice, my life, my say. Mind your own fucking business. You don’t want to do it because to you it’s murder? Fine, don’t have an abortion. Let’s move on.

The next question is the one that serious pissed me off. ‘Do you support the civil unions between homosexuals, and do you support subjecting our troops in the military to homosexuals in their ranks, on their ships, in their bunks and showers?’ Subjecting? I am someone to be subjected to? Well okay, maybe sometimes, but wow, what a complete and utter prejudicial way to say something. And you know Mr. Brady approved this. Come on, the same man who believes abortion is a sin, and creationism should be taught in public schools, why wouldn’t he believe marriage is only between one man and one woman that man should be able to control? And gays, we are lower people that people are subjected to…hell in 2005, he didn’t think enough of gays that he voted against the ban on discrimination against gays and lesbians. The ban passed, no thanks to him. But as we can see, he doesn’t like being subjected to us, and doesn’t think anyone else should either.

I was never so happy to shout yes in the phone as when I did in response to that biased question.

Afterwards, I talked to my friend Alan on the phone, and we discussed why the Republican party (or for that matter, any political party) tries to front their political advances with a tool like Brady. All it ends up making them look like is extremist that really don’t move the party lines in a positive manner, but rather just asserts to the other side that fear mongering and hatred is the way they are attempting to influence people. Similarly, the movement that says Obama is moving us towards socialism, or that wish him dead have started with politicians who want to move extremist agendas because their failed concept of the American fabric has torn and been soiled and we are now all doomed to be struck down by God for our evil ways. It’s a back and forth battle; One side says something, the other goes to the extreme, then the other reacts in extreme, and so on. Unfortunately, I see most of the pandering and hate mongering from the political conservatives and Republican party. And it’s escalated so much, the hate and severity of it all is now rampant, a happy medium is no longer possible. It’s looked upon as weak or milquetoast. I’m not saying kumbaya and let’s all get along here, but how far away does it look to be a second civil war, where the extreme right and extreme left fracture the country as a whole and everyone hates everyone else?

But I am starting to look beyond my Illinois back yard to the national stage, and I really can’t equate being considered a being to be subjected to as the launch pad for wishing our President dead, now can I? Actually I can. It’s not such an unrealistic leap anymore. Of course, the opposition will deny, and what I will hear is that Brady does not speak for the party as a whole. I mean, he is the candidate that the party has endorsed, and he is the one that will represent if he makes it to office… why wouldn’t I assume he does? Isn’t he the person chosen by the party to represent them in this situation? But I hope that rational and realistic heads will prevail, Brady will not win the election, and this situation never materializes. After all, if he does, I’m not someone he would want to be subjected to. And when thinking like that takes hold and is in charge, I can only know that where it leads is to a very bad place that frankly I don’t want to be subjected to, and neither would you.

Hatred of spewing hate

I’m sure the title of this post have a few people going, huh?

I mean, the irony isn’t lost on me either. I’m a self proclaimed misanthrope, which by definition is a generalized dislike, distrust, disgust, contempt, or hatred of the human species (thanks, Wikipedia). And certainly, I bitch, I moan, I point out folly of the stupidity that is the human species, which is not to say I’m ever perfect. Far from it. I just think it’s more entertaining to pull apart the errors of others ways.

Even if I did ‘hate’ someone, this is my piece of lawn out here in cyberspace for people to view if they wish. A link is posted on my Facebook page for friends to come and read, but other than that, no advertising. No force mandated read or observation to visit. Hell, the most views I’ve ever had is 23 in a day, I think that’s a lot. It’s my opinion, in my quiet corner of the world, and I’m sticking with it.

On the other hand, if I stood outside a naval officer’s funeral with big signs that said “Thank God For Dead Soldiers”, I’m forcing my opinion out into the public. I’m intruding on a captivate audience who are there mourning a fallen soldier/son/daughter/sibling/friend/whomever. I’m chanting aloud “I’m glad he’s dead” or “He deserved to die”, and for those people, trying to sit quietly and deal with the loss of a loved one, they are trapped having to hear this vocal barrage. Free speech? Perhaps, like my blog it is to an extent. But a line has been crossed where the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and religious belief has been boisterously inflicted on an assembled group of people of differing beliefs, and who can’t escape the harassment or pain my beliefs have inflicted on them.

Now I would never ever do this, say that I thank God for dead soldiers. First of all, because I don’t believe that officer serving in the military deserved to die. I may not agree or like war, but sometimes it became a necessary evil that in the country’s history, became a determining factor in our existence and freedom. I support our troops, and mourn their loss. They are doing something that frankly I just don’t have the ability to do. It’s brave and exhausting. I’ve had friends spend tours in Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran. My Grandfather served in WWII, a Sargent, a member of Merrill’s Marauders in Burma. They all defended our country, and I’m proud of them.

Secondly, I don’t believe God or whatever spiritual being a person prays to has any reason to be glad that people are happy other people are dead. I may immensely dislike a person, even wish that karma gets them in the end. And yes I’ve casually may have told someone to be gone before a house dropped on them as well, sometimes in jest, and sometime, in not so good nature of a way . I’ve been mistreated and can’t stand it when some person who thinks they are above another and so blatantly flaunts it doesn’t think their actions don’t impact the feelings of others. To be deliberately rude, hurtful or inflict pain in the name of one’s God or simply for the sheer bliss it brings is narcissistic and frankly sociopathic. And that person certainly does not worship the benevolent all loving God that Christians were raised to believe in and whose son died for us so that we could eat ham this Sunday and celebrate Easter (well, maybe not just eat ham, but you know what I mean). This is also why I have such an immense dislike of religion as an organization, sects and churches and buildings rather than the sheer joy that it supposedly brings. It’s all been bastardized by people like the Catholic church and, in extreme, Phelps. I don’t need someone telling me what to believe or how I need to believe it. But that’s a whole other post.

So no, I would never do what that unconscionable man Fred Phelps did outside of Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder’s funeral, which caused his father and family so much distress. And Mr. Phelp’s Westboro Baptist Church does this at many military funerals, at GLBT events and parades, and at Matthew Shepherd’s funeral. Basically they do this because they say God takes delight in the death of these soldiers, defending our nation, because homosexuality has ravaged the US and we are all going to pay for it. Yes, that is actually their platform. But Albert Snyder had enough, and sued and won against the fundamentalist church for the emotional strain and stress they inflicted at his son’s funeral. He won, too. But of course, in our fair and equitable justice system, the ruling was overturned pending Supreme Court interference, and now Mr. Snyder is being told, as a result, he has to pay Westboro’s legal fees. So not only has a man who’s son serving our military and government lost his life in a war for this nation, but that same government turned around and said, sorry, even though those people upset you, attacked your son, said he deserved to die, they have a right to harass you during your moment of utmost grief, force you to listen to their hateful chants that haunt your dreams, and now you have to pay for their court costs.

Completely fair, right? Fuck that.

To merely say the deliberate spewing of hatred is wrong is a criminal understatement in a situation like this. Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist ‘church’, you are all a bunch of sociopaths. You wish people dead, you say God Hates Fags, you say Thank God for IEDS (improvised explosive devices, used mainly in suicide bombings and road side bombs in the current war), and call military funerals pagan and blasphemous. My head literally wants to explode at this. My immense dislike wants to boil over into hatred. I want to scream, to cry, to hit, to sue, even kill this bastard. To have such an inconsequential repulsion for a human life almost turns me murderous. And to most rational human beings, it should. Hell, even Bill O’Reilly thinks Phelps is a tool.

But then I have remorse. I feel sorry for this man. He’s pathetic. I mean, look at him for starters, he’s practically the Crypt Keeper.

Basically, when he does die, and mercifully may it be soon for the rest of us, he’s going to be in for a nasty surprise if he thinks he’s going to be shown the gates of heaven by his God. Frankly, I have him pegged for the his eternity walking with his head twisted backwards on his body around with the rest of the false prophets and frauds in Dante’s eighth circle of Hell, but where in the Inferno he may reside can be argued.

What it all comes down to is this: I’m appalled at what Fred Phelps stands for and believes in. His right to believe, yes, even as misguided and stupid of a belief that it is. His right to say his opinion, yes. But his right to inflict pain and cheer murder and hatred and celebrate it? No. To force people to endure it in the way they did, while attending a funeral, is abuse of his right to free speech. This man stands for everything that is the opposite of what this nation stands for, and to let him win another battle like this is disgusting. And for him to do it in the name of God… I do not know what God you worship, but I do not remember reading in the Bible to celebrate murder and hate people because they are different. What book are you reading? What it fosters is more hatred, and more acceptance and indifference to this hatred. To spew hate just for the pleasure of spewing it should be just as repulsive to you as it is to me.

Bits and pieces of the past week

Just some random things floating around my head recently:

-The situation surrounding Constance McMillen and her school district’s controversial decision of canceling her senior prom in Jackson, Mississippi is absurd. It’s plain and simple retaliation against the teen, and it’s been very effective. ‘Thanks for ruining my senior year,’ is the type of comments she’s now getting as she’s returned to school, after the school district, rather than reverse an archaic rule that a prom date must be of the opposite sex, decided to cancel the event. She’s now been made a pariah, thrust into a hostile environment, because the school district decided to play hard ball and rather than step into the 21st century, stay in the 1950s.

-On the flip side of the gay movement, the first gays were legally married in DC this week. The cover of the Washington Post featured one of the happy couples smooching. As a result, about a dozen of subscribers ended up calling and canceling their subscription out of disgust. Maybe as a gay man I should start doing that to every mainstream paper that shows a straight couple on the cover kissing. I mean, it makes logical sense, right? Maybe it really still is the 1950’s in some people’s minds.

-Sean Hayes finally comes out of the closet to himself and to the surprise of no one I know, and gets pissed because the Advocate chastised him for not being honest sooner. You know what Sean, why don’t you and Just Jack go back into your own little world. I mean, you played an out and proud (and often over the top and childish) gay man on Will & Grace, for which you won an Emmy. But seeing that you haven’t had a career since W&G ended, I can see why you felt coming out now makes sense. ‘I’m still here, and guess what? Im gay!’ Please, I knew that 10 years ago when I saw pics of you and your ex-boyfriend Steve (an acquaintance of mine). You weren’t fooling anyone then. I just don’t understand why you had to deny it like it was something to be ashamed of. Get over yourself.

– The Oscars have come and gone for another year, and just a few (okay, 10) notes on the whole show:
1. First of all, what happened to “And the Oscar goes to…”? What was with “and the winner is” bullshit?
2. The whole Farrah and Bea Arthur exclusion from the In Memoriam… come on folks, they were best known for their television star power. Now if this were the Primetime Emmys and they were cut for Brittany Murphy, then I’d understand. But It wasn’t an intentional snub. Although I just do not understand why Michael Jackson managed to make the cut. The man was many things- musician, music video pioneer, dancer, father, freak, you get the idea- but I forget the part when he was a film star. And This Is It and The Wiz do NOT count.
3. Sandra Bullock won Best Actress. It was her Julia Roberts moment. Suck it up folks, it was inevitable. And she looked flawless. And didn’t you love her final thank you to her lover Meryl? Classic.

4. Yay to the Hurt Locker and Kathryn Bigelow for their big wins. Come on, Avatar was good, but it wasn’t Best Picture.
5. The crazy bitch who hijacked the Best Documentary Short speech… umm, you don’t like giving up control, do you? Even when you were removed from the project, and were told by the publicist that only the director was supposed to speak, you had to scurry up there and butt in and open your loud, crazy mouth. Freak.

6. Thank you Academy for none of the best original song performances, but what was up with that interpreted dance bit for original score? Worst. Idea. Ever.
7. Kathy Ireland on the Red Carpet. Train wreck. Seriously, did you see that freaky pose?
8. I think I was the only person to dig the horror film homage, especially since they started off with Jaws. But some of the choices of clips for horror film, like Edward Scissorhands? Um, really?
9. Sarah Jessica Parker is not looking very good these days. Bad dress, caked on make-up, scraggily hair. One can chalk it up to the new twins, but as my partner Rick put it, ‘Where are her gays? They should be fired for letting her go out like that.’ And on that same note, every time someone walked out looking not so hot, Rick would pipe up, ‘ooh, she has bad gays, dressing her in that.’ Made for great couch commentary.
10. Although it doesn’t have anything to do with the Oscars… at least this year. Wall Street 2 just got moved to a September release. Looks like Ollie Stone is gunning for some Oscar loving next year.

– I’m a week late on this, but Kathy Griffin on Law & Order: SVU, was…and I’m a huge fan of hers too…kind of a let down. She just did not look or feel natural at all during the entire episode. It was as if her character was written in as the annoying foil for the episode. I was bummed.

-What was that tragic thing that Emilio sent down the runway last week on Project Runway? And how the hell did he not get sent home for that?

– Mariah Carey and Mo’Nique in Precious were both FIERCE. AMAZING.

– Corey Haim, dead at 38 of a drug overdose. Sad.

– Rod Blagovich on The Celebrity Apprentice. Sadder.

– Buzz Aldrin on Dancing With The Stars. Huh?

-Spring weather is finally arriving. Pretty damn exciting.

Okay, now discuss.

Crazy people at Trader Joe's and the lunatic at Starbucks

Two great stories for a busy weekend…

Rick and I spent this past Saturday running around with our rented iGo car to take care of a few condo gardening needs. Since finishing the back patio this past summer, we never had the opportunity to get some of the plants that Rick wanted to add to enhance the ambiance. When our neighbors told us of the screaming discounts at the Fertile Garden center on Diversey, Rick decided we couldn’t wait any longer, talked to our condo neighbors, and got approval for some plants.
The Fertile Garden had some great deals for certain. While Rick explored and chose just the right hydrangeas for the back yard (“I’m thinking all white flowers to brighten it up,” he trilled, while I just looked around and said “yeah okay, whatever”), I had my fun and picked out two wonderfully pumpkins for Halloween. All told, the plants ranged from 30 to 70% off, and we saved a total of 60% on our yard. It was a great deal.
After a brief stop for food at the Art of Pizza on Ashland (so good!), we decided to venture to Trader Joe’s for some quick groceries for dinner. We had the car, we never had been, so why not?
We entered the store, and within seconds I had flashbacks to retail holiday havoc. The place was a mob scene. No discernible rhyme or reason to the traffic patterns of the place. What made it a tad more challenging was that Rick, having his eyes dialated earlier in the day, still had to wear sunglasses. It’s not like he was blind, he just was sensitive to the light still.
But what turned me so sour was the pushing, shoving and careless passing of fellow shoppers. We tried to manuever and weave, and I think I said excuse me at least 5 times in 2 minutes. But we had barely picked up lemons and strawberries when a young woman charged past Rick, even as he tried to back out of the way, and she only could snark out a terse ‘Pardon me’ with the complete sincerity of Bill O’Riley. Rick and I glanced at each other, and he immediately picked the two items in our basket back out and tossed them onto the vegetable gondola. ‘Forget the rest of this, I just want to check for one thing,’ he commented, quite frazzled.
He navigated himself around to the next aisle, to where a beleaguered clerk was shelving a item. Rick asked politely if they had the item (some dark Belgian chocolate) he was looking for, only to have a snappish reply: “we only carry that at Christmas.” With that, Rick turned to me, and announced, “and NOW we can get the hell out of here!”
After nearly being run over two more times and swearing I just saw a Viking woman (complete with Helga’s horns and braided hair) and her elf friend in the checkout line, I barely emerged from the exit doors only to be knocked over a final time by a mother and her three children, who were all clambering and screeching for attention. I couldn’t even look back at the place, as if it were Sodom and Gomorrah (ironic, right?), and disgustedly blurted in full earshot of the family and several other patrons, “I will NEVER go into that place again! That was the worst bunch of assholes ever!” Classy, right? I was aggravated, and disappointed. I had heard so much about this place, but this visit left the taste of bile on my tongue.
What surprised me was Rick, who is normally very even keel. He nodded, and shook his head in disdain. “Saturday afternoon does not entitle people to be complete ignorant jerks. Terrible, terrible idea.” And with that, we hopped in the car and sped away, wishing for the place to burn down so we could salt the earth and never let it rise again.
Granted, a Saturday probably isn’t the best time to go into a grocery store. That being said, the next stop, at our local Dominicks, was less traumatic. We were in and out in moments. No muss, no fuss. That’s the way a shopping experience should go!
—————————————————————-
The next morning, however, was a tale for the ages. We were hosting brunch at our place for my friends Rick M, Peter, Brian and Bennett, and of course the coffee maker is on the fritz. Solution A was Rick trying an ad hoc version of campfire coffee. Uh, no. So back to the Dominicks I went so i could stop at the in store Starbucks and get a traveler of coffee.
The scene couldn’t have unfolded better than it did. I stood in line patiently, and this erratic Gaysian huffed and puffed at the waiting window as the barista asked him several questions to ensure his satisfaction. As the server handed up his two orders, the outburst was immediate:” I told you, I wanted a VANILLA BEAN LATTE, not this frozen shit!!”
The barista quickly yet politely replied back, ‘Sir, I clarified if you wanted it with coffee, or not, and with whipped cream or not, and you said no coffee and with…”
“NO I DID NOT! CAN’T YOU PEOPLE GET THIS FUCKING ORDER RIGHT?? I’M HERE EVERY DAY!” he screeched. It was like watching Glenn Beck throwing one of his classic and infantile bigoted temper tantrums.
“Sir, please calm down..”
“I DON’T LIKE THAT ATTITUDE! WHERE’S THE MANAGER? YOUR ATTITUDE SUCKS! THIS IS THE WORST STARBUCKS EVER!”
“Sir, calm down, or do I need to call security…”
“SCREW THIS WHERE IS THE MANAGER?” And with that, the high strung queen threw the frappuccino to the ground, splattering it all over the floor.
The barista and he coworker were visibly shaken, but managed to keep on trying to serve us why having to go and clean up the splattered slushy on the floor (since a call for clean up went unheeded). I politely placed my order, and the barista went to get the travel box for my coffee. When she came back, she sighed aloud to her colleague, “and now he’s over at customer service complaining about me. He did this to a cashier last week. This has got to end!”
As she started to fill my order, I stepped away and walked over to the customer service counter, where Pinocchio was fibbing up a storm. “She was just so rude, and knocked my drink over, and the attitude she copped was disgusting, blah blah blah,” (s)he practically sobbed. The manager stood and nodded in understanding, and then out of the corner of his eye caught me standing there, and turned his full attention on me.
I was not about to let this psycho ruin some nice employees’ job with his/her irrationality. “Um, yeah, that’s not what happened. The barista was very polite and handled herself well. This one” – I pointed at the befuddled bitch- “This one not only lost control, but threw his drink on the floor and caused a terrible scene. He was rude and completely unnecessary.”
Stunned at first, then narrowing her eyes at me with a hateful glare, Gaysian girl snapped defensively, “No, I was throwing it out…”
I cut her off. “Yeah, trashcan was here” – I pointed to my left- “and the drink was over here” – and I swung my hand to my far right. “No way you were aiming for the can.” I turned my attention back to the manager, who had a look in his eye that said he was getting the real picture now. “All I’m saying is that your associate was polite and tried to be nice, and this one was a complete nut job.” And with that, I walked away.
I walked back to Starbucks, left my name and number with the very grateful barista in case the manager had any more questions about what I witnessed, took my coffee and went home. Arggh, the nerve of that bitch treating the Starbucks girl so rudely! I wanted to slap her silly! But I took the high road, stood up for my fellow customer service agent, and did a good deed for the day.

Idol Outings and Glass Houses

Unless you live under a rock, American Idol runner up Adam Lambert is gay. Yes girls, the eye liner doesn’t lie. He likes the guys. But what’s the big deal here?

Lambert officially comes out in this week’s Rolling Stone cover story, which features a very rock star pose. The sad thing is that 1) that this is such a frigging big deal, and 2) the cover is getting the cat calls from critics for being so gay.

First of all, my question is why this is such a big fucking deal? Welcome to 2009, America!! It’s been over a decade since Ellen broke down TV and media’s gay 5th wall, with Rosie, NPH, David Hyde Pierce and TR Knight all charging behind her. This isn’t 1980, when being gay- or straight, or a cross dresser, or a Republican for that matter- is a taboo thing. Jeez folks, can we all walk out of the closet together now??? All of the speculation may sell million of US Weekly’s and Star magazines, but let’s stop and be rational. Even if there was a question to Adam’s sexuality, who cares who he sleeps with? Do I care that Tom Cruise fucks Katie Holmes? Or that Rush Limbaugh fucks anyone at all (I know, take a moment and clear your head with that one)? No. Then why Adam?

Then there’s the cover. Oooh, a rock star posing seductively, wearing eye liner and a snake. It’s Axl Rose circa 1990! or is it Iggy Pop, circa 1978! Madonna circa 1985! Britney two years ago…okay,  you get the point. It’s some musician stretched across the cover of a magazine posing seductively so the rag sells. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet, because there’s the coming out situation around Adam, it’s a trite, stereotypical cover shot. But now we digress back to point one… who FUCKING CARES??

Point three is why am I commenting on this? I don’t watch American Idol, why am I giving credence to the hoopla? Because I feel for Adam as a person, as a celeb trapped in a bad situation, and as a gay man. You know, putting himself out there on a TV show invites speculation and plenty of trouble, but I find it salacious that it’s reflective on his sexual activity. I’m annoyed that again, in 2009, we as a public are finding a celebrity being gay, or bi, or whatever Lindsey Lohan is, fodder for the water cooler.  It only feeds into the hatred that people like that white trash redneck bigot Mike Huckabee spreads as part of their agenda to ‘purify’ America against  bad influences and witchcraft. Like gays are flying around on their Harry Potter brooms, waving their magic wands and- poof!- we snagged another unsuspecting straighty!

So it all breaks down to this: who cares who sleeps with who, as long as they are happy? Is the fact that I sleep with a man so bothersome to my neighbors that they can’t function in daily life? I think not, but I also know my neighbors pretty well, and we all get along really well. And if it does, then they are as pathetic as Dick Cheney as he still craves attention 4 months after getting the boot from office… and we all know how well he is functioning in daily life. I just find that it’s so hypocritical of society to judge who is with whom and where and why. As the old adage goes, ‘He who throws stones shouldn’t live in a glass house.’

Sadly, as Adam and this observer can attest, America’s windows seem to get blown out on a daily basis.