It’s been a long time. I think I need to spew out what i’ve been holding in. Just some random excerpts and thoughts that have crossed my mind recently; mind you, they have never been uttered publicly. Well, okay, just a few haven’t been. See if you too can play along and follow the stream of this consciousness:
“Clipping your nails on the train is so cultured of you.”
“No really, I love it when you play Schoolboy Q at top volume on your headphones next to me on the train. Oh how did I know who it was? I Shazam’d it.”
Girl, your weave looks like you’re trying to be Thulsa Doom. No. That’s not a compliment.”
“You hair looks like a basket of brown and yellow yarn that some cat played with and got all tangled up. No honey, that’s not a compliment, either.”
“When I go to the bar Friday evening at 5 PM for happy hour to enjoy my adult beverage, naturally I am thrilled when you bring your children in to the bar. Just like in the Appalachians.”
“Fucking Polar Vortex continues to leave it’s mark… and it’s August. I mean, every other woman is pregnant. Is playing Cards Against humanity not enough for you breeders during the winter months?”
“Pull your goddamn pants up! You know that means you want to be prison fucked. No, I am NOT interested.”
“Ten reasons I’m glad there is a hand gun waiting period: 1. John Boehner, 2. Sarah Palin ( I mean, does she never go away?), 3. Michelle Bachmann (You’re still around?), 4. Justin Bieber, 5. People who are cruel to puppies and other animals, 6. Kanye and Kim, 7. That guy who refuses to pick up his dog’s shit and leaves it in my front walkway garden, 8. Rick Perry, 9. Ann Coulter (bitch is crazy), and 10. ignorant dumbass people.”
“Ah, Lollapalooza weekend: when your suburban sons and daughters invade downtown and insist on acting like douchebags. That, and how they dress: the crop top belly shirt has made it’s great return! And your son- yes, yours- was wearing blue Hawaiian flower shorts, a navy mesh (!) sleeveless tank, and Pharrell’s fucking hat! The horror! He’s just asking to get his ass kicked.”
I am all about supporting the victim and not dismissing them in their accusation.
That being said, I take a pause at what Woody is saying and his actions (yes that included marrying Soon-Yi) and I can’t help but question, what if we’ve had it wrong for 20 years? What if Mia really did play a number on her kids, and the public, and turned everyone on Woody?
I mean, we stand here and still watch his movies, and marvel at them, and how they portray every aspect of the dynamic woman. We award these portrayals that he’s created (I give him for what he added through the written word and his directing). And yet still maintain he’s someone who sexually demeans and molest young girls?
Do we torch him or do we laud him? He’s a genius. No he’s a sexual deviant. No. Yes. You can’t do both. Can you?
Frankly, I find sudden realizations a bit suspect and coached. As much as I despise anyone playing the queen of denial. But maybe that’s too many episodes of Law and Order on TNT.
So here I wonder what’s the truth.
And then I realize that I’ll never truly know.
I may suspect. But I wasn’t there. I was never part of this. I can’t guarantee that Mia or Woody are lying, or the kids have been brainwashed, or the whole thing was made to be more than it was. Because their marriage was ending. And they were fighting. A younger woman, an adopted, non-blood relation was involved. And even those references are speculators.
And so started the accusations of molestation and incest.
So we jump to the worst conclusion. Because instead of looking inside of ourselves we naturally leap to the worst case scenario. And from there, everything else is tainted. He said. She Said. They said. Second hand knowledge. He must have, she must be.
Not as simple as that. I defy you to argue it with me. Because as strong as your conviction, so is mine that maybe he never did anything to cause scrutiny. At the very least, not the public flogging this has become.
And at the end of the day, I look at this argument, and I stop. And I just have ask.
Welcome to rants of the misanthrope 2013. I decide to merge my blog profiles for ease of blogging, and with the hope I might throw a few more rants out there along with the music guide. Frankly, I’ve been itching to do that lately. So much to bitch and rant about!
I decided to return to this page since the whole FB bitch sessions got a touch messy this year. Politics. Religion. Gay marriage. All things that people have completely stupid opinions on, and I just had to try and tell them what was what. In the process, one guy who I considered a very good friend first unfriended me on the Facebook over a political post I vented about; he subsequently cut me out of his life and stopped talking to me for good. To be fair, at first it was a misunderstanding, but then his machinations and attempts to make me feel and look inadequate and dysfunctional just inspired me to fight on harder. It was a good thing. It allowed to to look hard at how I was being treated by people and how I wanted to be treated. My friends- my real friends- may argue and tease and make fun of my opinions. But they always respected the passion and verve behind it as well. We agree to disagree. But those who just felt I was being insincere or angry or disrespectful, or were treating me in those same manners they accused me of exhibiting; well, I decided to limit my interaction with them. And those who I thought we were friends, yet they also would share posts about how proud they are of Fred Phelps and his church wanting to send all of those gays to hell… yeah, well, we ended that real quick.
So it goes. And here we are.
You’ll note the new address, so please record it for ease of linking to it. Please feel free to share it with anyone who you consider in need of some education. Like those Fred Phelps loving gay haters. Because education is so important! Also, you may note I have a twitter handle. In the words of Kathy Griffin, yes, I twat. Look for occasional throw away junior rants @bitchbyvogel .
I will do my best to post here at least weekly. That is my 2013 resolution to you. Happy new year, and buckle up bitches. We’re going over the cliff.
Sunday found me needing to go in search of new dress pants, as I wear black dress slacks five days a week and the current three pairs I have are looking a bit worse for wear. My friend Rick joined me, and we headed to North Avenue to hit the stores there.
As we stopped in the Express store (which regularly has a style of pant I can wear), I noticed a few things that I really hadn’t picked up on before. The first thing, which was indeed a new feature of the store, was the presence of an entire section of women’s denim and fashion on what had previously been an entire floor dedicated to menswear. Not only was there this new section, but men’s was now shifted to be the last section of the store, relegated to the back, as if it were something to be ashamed of.
Then I discovered that my size was nowhere to be found, so I had to ask for it to be brought from the stock room. When they did find my size, there was one pair. And when I asked for my size in an alternate fit, I was told it was out of stock… and all of their nearby locations. Rubbing salt in the wound, the guy at checkout chirped,”All pants are Buy One get one at half off, don’t you want a second pair?” I barely held my contempt in check as I coughed up $100 for pants that really weren’t what I wanted. Needless to say, my shopping experience was a casualty of the downsizing. It sucked.
Sadly, this trend is an issue that it growing more and more frustrating every time I venture to a store for clothes. In retail, the average male shopper is not taken into account. Fashion is either bland or so skewed to the young, and sizing… everything is now geared to the skinny and slim. There’s no variety for an average slightly overweight thirty-something guy like me. To wit- Rick tried on a pea coat which fit him in the sleeve length, but was cut so short and slim it looked a bit awkward on him. ‘All I see are small and medium, and even the large and XL are small,” he mused aloud, and I agree. Not every guy is wanting the super slender anorexic cut in jeans and shirts. In fact shopping for clothes and finding the words ‘fitted’ and ‘slim cut’ on the label can be a real buzz kill.
Worse is finding a favorite retailer has decided that you are no longer a size deemed worthy of carrying in the store. I need a 30 inseam for all of my pants. I’m discovering that Banana Republic, and more recently, Gap, are no longer carrying my waist size/ inseam in store. “Sorry, that’s online only,” I was told by a hapless sales clerk not two weeks ago when my Rick and I were shopping for clothes for our upcoming vacation. I had to come home, go online, and wait five to eight days for my pants, hoping they fit right. Luckily they did, but frustrating it was, particularly since one of the colors I wanted in the pant wasn’t offered online.
Granted, I’ve put on a bit of weight in my recent years, and have gone up a size (or two, depending on the store). I was able to admit that to Rick after our Express disaster today as I licked my wounds with a coffee and pumpkin muffin at Starbucks. Regardless of this, it’s still a crime to make a man feel inferior or a freak of nature by not making clothing that fits, or worse, not making it readily available. I remember my years in retail and how we bent over backwards to make womens’ fashion all inclusive for every shape and size. Now on the other side, I’m seeing the same attention is not being paid to the male shopper. It’s sad, it’s depressing, and it’s only getting worse.
The coda to my outing today: after our dismal experience at Express, I found a happy ending, with not one but three dress pants at the Men’s Wearhouse, and at a far better deal. Needless to say, my Express slacks were returned within an hour of being bought. They were cheerful if a bit confused about the quick return, and remain clueless to my plight. But as I walked out, I felt vindicated a little by my refusual to accept mediocre fitting clothes.
Take that, skinny bitch store.
Just some random things floating around my head recently:
-The situation surrounding Constance McMillen and her school district’s controversial decision of canceling her senior prom in Jackson, Mississippi is absurd. It’s plain and simple retaliation against the teen, and it’s been very effective. ‘Thanks for ruining my senior year,’ is the type of comments she’s now getting as she’s returned to school, after the school district, rather than reverse an archaic rule that a prom date must be of the opposite sex, decided to cancel the event. She’s now been made a pariah, thrust into a hostile environment, because the school district decided to play hard ball and rather than step into the 21st century, stay in the 1950s.
-On the flip side of the gay movement, the first gays were legally married in DC this week. The cover of the Washington Post featured one of the happy couples smooching. As a result, about a dozen of subscribers ended up calling and canceling their subscription out of disgust. Maybe as a gay man I should start doing that to every mainstream paper that shows a straight couple on the cover kissing. I mean, it makes logical sense, right? Maybe it really still is the 1950’s in some people’s minds.
-Sean Hayes finally comes out of the closet to himself and to the surprise of no one I know, and gets pissed because the Advocate chastised him for not being honest sooner. You know what Sean, why don’t you and Just Jack go back into your own little world. I mean, you played an out and proud (and often over the top and childish) gay man on Will & Grace, for which you won an Emmy. But seeing that you haven’t had a career since W&G ended, I can see why you felt coming out now makes sense. ‘I’m still here, and guess what? Im gay!’ Please, I knew that 10 years ago when I saw pics of you and your ex-boyfriend Steve (an acquaintance of mine). You weren’t fooling anyone then. I just don’t understand why you had to deny it like it was something to be ashamed of. Get over yourself.
– The Oscars have come and gone for another year, and just a few (okay, 10) notes on the whole show:
1. First of all, what happened to “And the Oscar goes to…”? What was with “and the winner is” bullshit?
2. The whole Farrah and Bea Arthur exclusion from the In Memoriam… come on folks, they were best known for their television star power. Now if this were the Primetime Emmys and they were cut for Brittany Murphy, then I’d understand. But It wasn’t an intentional snub. Although I just do not understand why Michael Jackson managed to make the cut. The man was many things- musician, music video pioneer, dancer, father, freak, you get the idea- but I forget the part when he was a film star. And This Is It and The Wiz do NOT count.
3. Sandra Bullock won Best Actress. It was her Julia Roberts moment. Suck it up folks, it was inevitable. And she looked flawless. And didn’t you love her final thank you to her lover Meryl? Classic.
4. Yay to the Hurt Locker and Kathryn Bigelow for their big wins. Come on, Avatar was good, but it wasn’t Best Picture.
5. The crazy bitch who hijacked the Best Documentary Short speech… umm, you don’t like giving up control, do you? Even when you were removed from the project, and were told by the publicist that only the director was supposed to speak, you had to scurry up there and butt in and open your loud, crazy mouth. Freak.
6. Thank you Academy for none of the best original song performances, but what was up with that interpreted dance bit for original score? Worst. Idea. Ever.
7. Kathy Ireland on the Red Carpet. Train wreck. Seriously, did you see that freaky pose?
8. I think I was the only person to dig the horror film homage, especially since they started off with Jaws. But some of the choices of clips for horror film, like Edward Scissorhands? Um, really?
9. Sarah Jessica Parker is not looking very good these days. Bad dress, caked on make-up, scraggily hair. One can chalk it up to the new twins, but as my partner Rick put it, ‘Where are her gays? They should be fired for letting her go out like that.’ And on that same note, every time someone walked out looking not so hot, Rick would pipe up, ‘ooh, she has bad gays, dressing her in that.’ Made for great couch commentary.
10. Although it doesn’t have anything to do with the Oscars… at least this year. Wall Street 2 just got moved to a September release. Looks like Ollie Stone is gunning for some Oscar loving next year.
– I’m a week late on this, but Kathy Griffin on Law & Order: SVU, was…and I’m a huge fan of hers too…kind of a let down. She just did not look or feel natural at all during the entire episode. It was as if her character was written in as the annoying foil for the episode. I was bummed.
-What was that tragic thing that Emilio sent down the runway last week on Project Runway? And how the hell did he not get sent home for that?
– Mariah Carey and Mo’Nique in Precious were both FIERCE. AMAZING.
– Corey Haim, dead at 38 of a drug overdose. Sad.
– Rod Blagovich on The Celebrity Apprentice. Sadder.
– Buzz Aldrin on Dancing With The Stars. Huh?
-Spring weather is finally arriving. Pretty damn exciting.
It’s that time of year again. Oscar watch 2009 has begun, with the kick off being last week’s announcement of the nominees. ABC has a whole site dedicated to the Oscars which you can check out here.
All the brouha has been over the whole snubbing of ‘The Dark Knight’ with the exception of the nearly guaranteed (and wholey deserving) nomination of Heath Ledger, as well as the snubs of ‘Revolutionary Road’, Bruce Springsteen’s big original song shut out, and the push for the feelgood underdog of the year, ‘Slumdog Millionaire.’ Interesting points, for sure. But here’s my questions:
-How, when the critical and popular reviews for the film has been so fair to meh, did friggin’ ‘Benjamin Button’ get 13 nominations? I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve heard reviews everywhere from “pretty good” to “I was asleep by hour two.” Not overwhelming encouragement to make me run out and see it.
-Why not just eliminate the best original song category all together? I mean, really, when was the last time there was a song tied to a film that not only was completely original and made for the film, and wasn’t featured in the solely in the closing credits in in some obscure part of the film? And when was the last time you remebered a really good, mainstream even hummable Oscar worthy original track? You know what the first one’s that come to my mind? 9 to 5 and (I’ve Had) the Time of my Life. Oh yeah, and Shaft. And how old are they? To be fair, and on the complete opposite track, I love the fact that M.I.A. is nominated this year for ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ for her track, O Saya. Keeping it real, and hey, does Randy Newman or Bruce really need another nomination? But as I look through a list of past nominees and winners, I can only shake my head at most of the choices from the past decade and say, really?
-Is it just me, or is the real Best Pic of the year and the slowly growing front runner for the Oscar gold is ‘Milk’? Beautiful, powerful film. Very timely and parallel to what is currently going on in the world today (enigmatic leader, breaking bounderies, Prop 8). Sean Penn is really likeable for the first time since ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ and Josh Brolin is brilliant and took great creepy lessons from his ‘No Country…’ costar for a fantastic performance. It’s absolutely amazing, and if you haven’t seen it yet, go see it now. It blows Benjamin’s buttons off and away.
In the meantime, go out and see as many of the Oscar nominated pictures and performances as you can before the big night. It’s winter and it’s cold out, spend some time indoors at the local multiplex and check them out. And tell me if ‘Benjamin Button’ is really all that and a bag of chips. I need some convincing.
So after a week of nonsensical double talk by my DM and utter everyday bullshit that retail always is, I decided to update my online resume as well as join Linked-In to try to get my name out there. I need to get out of retail. After 14 years, it’s time, I have experience and know how, and I have proven over time that I can do anything I put my mind to. While I am planning to ride out the holiday season at the store, if I was offered an Office Manager position somewhere tomorrow I would tell my job two weeks and peace out. And considering the comments he’s made over the past week about certain things, as well as that the company I work for is paying me way below what my peers at other retailers are making in this market, I really wouldn’t feel that bad.
But more about his comments later. What has come to annoy me is the spamming I have received since updating my resume. Suddenly, I have six emails in my in box from company A-B-C and Duh, extolling the virtues of my resume, and how I would absolutely be a perfect fit… selling insurance door to door. Or being a used car salesman. In Burr Ridge or Naperville. Uhh, no. What part of office management or inventory specialist in Chicago proper did you not understand? I don’t want to sell things anymore, if I would not be looking.
But it didn’t stop there. I actually got a call on my cell phone last night, a cold call, from a woman who saw my resume and thought I’d be a perfect fit to work… for Primerica. For those out on the job hunt, Primerica is one of those companies that prey on those on the job hunt to be a debt and investment counselor. I actually fell for it once, about 5 or so years ago, and made a commute to the far reaches beyond Oakbrook to check out a Primerica seminar. It felt more like a door to door salesman pyramid scheme, so I started posting ‘Primerica need not to inquire’ on my online resume.
In any case, i quickly stopped the woman, thanked her for considering me, but firmly rebuffed her with “Primerica is not the direction I wish to move towards in this stage of my career.” And with that, I ended the call.
I find it so amazing that there are so many unsubstantiated companies out there, prowling the internet, trying to find people looking fior a solid career with the lure of quick and yet unattainable amounts of cash. Frankly, these get rich quick and their ilk type of job ‘opportunites’ are dead end in this economic climate. Hey, if you find success in one of them, more power to you. But frankly, i would rather eat dirt that go door to door or cold call someone to sell catalogs or insurance. It just reeks of carpetbagger or snakoil salesman.
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Speaking of snake oil salesmen, hopefully those of you reading have had a chance to make your voice heard and vote so we can keep those type of people out of public office and we don’t have another 8 years of being Bush-whacked. I voted for Obama/Biden, the duo who I see as hope and change, so the scary McCain/Palin ticket does not get into office. I know my friend Alan would say neither is good enough, which is why I imagine he voted for some random Green party candidate. And that’s fine, it’s his opinion, and he voted, so he made his voice heard. I only hope everyone takes time out today to do the right thing and also make their own voice heard. If not, the only person you have to blame is yourself.
I’ve had two girls quit my store this week, one welcomed, the other quite by surprise. Let me start with the tale of my problem who finally picked up the clue phone.
My one sales associate, she of calling off sick with a headache, finally quit Wednesday. Without any notice. Which is fine, because as of October 1, her hours were going down to very little anyway.
The sad thing is that she thinks she’s the big winner in all of this, that by her quitting she screwed me and thus satisfied her animosity towards me… which incidentally she actually told customers about. Customers, who like me and not her so much, felt compelled to come to me and tell me about the derogatory and unprofessional things she was spouting off about.
Anywho, yeah she quit. I actually suggested it was in her best interest not to, and of course her being the know it all she is, was defiant and couldn’t fathom why it would be. Uh, well, because you can’t claim unemployment, you just shot any chance of a reference out the window, and because it just shows you to be the petty, unprofessional child that you are. But then again, what do I know?
I’m a bit angry she left without notice, only because it cut into time with my mom. But then I think about the less drama I am having to deal with, and the security that I have 4 other reliable associate who do hard and good work, show up on time and don’t bring their personal life into work, and I guess I consider myself lucky. Sure, i have to work a few more hours, but at least I feel better at the end of the day.
I only hope she can learn from this, and in hindsight see that it was her actions (and inaction), her behavior and bad attitude that brought her to this end, not some random conspiracy theory that I was out to get her. I mean, do we really need to have Oliver Stone investigate and make a movie out of it? I could be played by Russell Crowe… and she, by Courtney Love.
My second sales associate, she who worked at total of one day, and that being Monday, appears to have abandoned ship as well.
She called in on Wednesday, minutes before her shift, crying about the drama that was her ex boyfriend and how she was unable to come in to work in her state of mind. Being that I liked this girl and wanted to give her a chance, though annoyed at the reasoning behind the call off, simply said don’t worry, come in Friday instead, but in the future just call a bit earlier with notice rather than at the last minute.
Friday came, and she never showed. I tried to call her, but only got her voice mail, and I expressed my concern in a message that she was alright, and to give us a call.
Saturday came, and again no call, no show. I tried calling again, this time even calling her mom. No answer. Then I pulled a sneaky, and called from my cell phone. She answered, but when I said ‘Hi it’s Jon’, she hung up on me! I calmly called back, got her voice mail, and left a message along the lines of, ‘I’m not sure what happened, sorry to see you leave, best of luck.’
I hung up and started cursing her name. Flake.
I have no clue what happened, if she got another job, if she just changed her mind, if she has mental issues… she interviewed great, and was fantastic on her first day. I did have problem child spend some time with her, which me and the rest of my staff is starting to wonder about. Maybe she poisoned the well? Who knows. She’s gone now, and it’s back to the hiring sign in the window.
And I’m back down to 3 staff members and myself, with a fourth guy starting in a week as a transfer from out of state. We all joke that maybe we should just hire men from now on, as they are the ones who seem to stick around.
Former American idol and current Spamelot star Clay Aiken became a father today.
No I am not making this up. That statement alone should be setting off alarms in everyone’s head.
Yes it’s true, someone actually had a baby with Mr. Aiken. And no, it wasn’t kd lang, for as everyone knows, like Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clay is kd.
There are so many things wrong with this factoid that I can barely begin to list them. Clay Gaykin, reproducing? Did the kid come out with soft androgynous features and a mullet? Will Aiken Jr be an alsoran on American Idol 2025? Why isn’t this running as a SciFi Channel special report? How will the Claymates react?
Yahoo! has their trendy and trashy version of TMZ, called OMG!. It’s a bit ridiculous and unnecessary, but as I was browsing through, there was an actual heading that said ‘Trainwrecks’. Curiosity got the best of me, and I clicked the link, and was brought to a page with about a dozen Amy Winehouse news blurbs, with the occasionally Heather Mills and Christy Brinkley bulletin thrown in as well.
While I hardly call the former Mrs. Billy Joel a train wreck (I mean, come on, she’s no Nick Nolte), the Winehouse bulletins were hysterical. My favorite has to be:Dad: Amy Winehouse Could Die “Slow and Painful Death”
Gotta love it when even your dad is routing for you.
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Brett Farve… who else is sick of hearing about his sob story?
I mean, what a cry baby. First, he retired. Then he wanted to come back. ‘They made me do it,’ he said. Yes Brett, they put a gun to your head and said retire or die.
Then he got to come back, although wisely, the rest of the team moved on without his. So they traded him… to the Jets. Boy, they certainly didn’t want him hanging around the Midwest at all. I guess Siberia didn’t have room on their roster for him either.
The not so bad part is that I’ve heard so much about it without even wanting or caring to that I had a really strange and very hot beach fantasy sex dream with him in it the other night.
It’s late and I’m bored, and I haven’t blogged in a while. Just wanted to warn you in advance.
A strange blurb from the Chicago Sun Times (suntimes.com):
‘The family of a Chicago woman sued The Loreal Group Tuesday, claiming chemicals in the company’s Soft Sheen Carson hair dye killed her.
While coloring her hair with a Dark and Lovely product in July 2006, Cornelia Morris suffered shortness of breath and later died at Jackson Park Hospital. An autopsy found that Morris died from “an anaphylactic reaction to hair dye,” according to the lawsuit. The 10-count wrongful-death suit seeks at least $500,000 in damages.
“We adhere to the most rigorous standards for product safety, so that our consumers can purchase and use our products with complete confidence,” said Jennifer S. James, a spokeswoman for L’Oreal USA, who added she had not yet seen the lawsuit and had no further comment.’
Okay, very random, and I feel for the family, but really: these things come with a warning. Like cigarettes and alcohol, and hell even peanuts, in extreme cases people can have an adverse reaction. What if the woman was at a professional hairdresser, and this happened. Would the stylist be liable? It’s not like they knew this would happen. She wasn’t wearing a Med Alert bracelet saying, allergic to red #5 or anything of the sort.
If the woman had tried on a sweater and died, would the family sue the manufacturer like Polo or Gap, or even the cotton industry? No, because shit happens. It’s too bad she had such an anaphylactic reaction.
On the flip side: if the woman was on a bike, and was hit by a car, I can see the driver of said car being sued. The driver was in control, and was liable. But if they were to sue the car manufacturer, and were to insinuate that the manufacturer was liable… yeah, it just doesn’t flow.
This is what the economic climate has driven us to. We are now a law suit happy nation.
Meanwhile, my lawsuit versus stupid people is till hung up in the courts…
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The CTA… another gripe I have.
The big deal right now is that the city is racing to make itself ready to be a serious contender for the 2016 Olympics. Yeah we are in the two four (I believe against Rio, Tokoyo and someone else), and seriously one of the top two in contention.
Yet the public transit system will continue to be our undoing.
Take my stop, Thorndale… one more good thunderstorm and it looks like the ceiling of the vestibule may collapse:
How safe does THIS look to you? Especially around the lights?
Yeah, makes me want to ride the train as well. Never mind the third rail, look out for the pools of water formed from the water dripping from the electrical system…
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Finally, proof that crack is indeed whack, as Whitney so proclaims. This one is courtesy of Tobin after some chicken and beer, Pride weekend…
Oh come on, don’t be a prude. If they can show Britney’s va jay jay online…
“You hair looks like a basket of brown and yellow yarn that some cat played with and got all tangled up. No honey, that’s not a compliment, either.”
Rants of The Misanthrope and other musings 