Venting

It’s been a long time. I think I need to spew out what i’ve been holding in. Just some random excerpts and thoughts that have crossed my mind recently; mind you, they have never been uttered publicly. Well, okay, just a few haven’t been. See if you too can play along and follow the stream of this consciousness:

“Clipping your nails on the train is so cultured of you.”

“No really, I love it when you play Schoolboy Q at top volume on your headphones next to me on the train. Oh how did I know who it was? I Shazam’d it.”

Girl, your weave looks like you’re trying to be Thulsa Doom. No. That’s not a compliment.”

“You hair looks like a basket of brown and yellow yarn that some cat played with and got all tangled up. No honey, that’s not a compliment, either.”

“When I go to the bar Friday evening at 5 PM for happy hour to enjoy my adult beverage, naturally I am thrilled when you bring your children in to the bar. Just like in the Appalachians.”

“Fucking Polar Vortex continues to leave it’s mark… and it’s August. I mean, every other woman is pregnant. Is playing Cards Against humanity not enough for you breeders during the winter months?”

“Pull your goddamn pants up! You know that means you want to be prison fucked. No, I am NOT interested.”

“Ten reasons I’m glad there is a hand gun waiting period: 1. John Boehner, 2. Sarah Palin ( I mean, does she never go away?), 3. Michelle Bachmann (You’re still around?), 4. Justin Bieber, 5. People who are cruel to puppies and other animals, 6. Kanye and Kim, 7. That guy who refuses to pick up his dog’s shit and leaves it in my front walkway garden, 8. Rick Perry, 9. Ann Coulter (bitch is crazy), and 10. ignorant dumbass people.”

“Ah, Lollapalooza weekend: when your suburban sons and daughters invade downtown and insist on acting like douchebags. That, and how they dress: the crop top belly shirt has made it’s great return! And your son- yes, yours- was wearing blue Hawaiian flower shorts, a navy mesh (!) sleeveless tank, and Pharrell’s fucking hat! The horror! He’s just asking to get his ass kicked.”

 

yeah. That feels better.

 

 

 

 

 

On the whole hating of Woody Allen

Woody Allen finally stepped out and made a statement today about all of these molestation charges. Take a look. Then proceed.

http://news-briefs.ew.com/2014/02/07/woody-allen-dylan-farrow-new-york-times-response/

So. Let’s get unpopular.

I am all about supporting the victim and not dismissing them in their accusation.

That being said, I take a pause at what Woody is saying and his actions (yes that included marrying Soon-Yi) and I can’t help but question, what if we’ve had it wrong for 20 years? What if Mia really did play a number on her kids, and the public, and turned everyone on Woody?

I mean, we stand here and still watch his movies, and marvel at them, and how they portray every aspect of the dynamic woman. We award these portrayals that he’s created (I give him for what he added through the written word and his directing).  And yet still maintain he’s someone who sexually demeans and molest young girls?

Do we torch him or do we laud him? He’s a genius. No he’s a sexual deviant. No. Yes. You can’t do both. Can you?

Frankly, I find sudden realizations a bit suspect and coached. As much as I despise anyone playing the queen of denial. But maybe that’s too many episodes of Law and Order on TNT.

So here I wonder what’s the truth.

And then I realize that I’ll never truly know.

I may suspect. But I wasn’t there. I was never part of this. I can’t guarantee that Mia or Woody are lying, or the kids have been brainwashed, or the whole thing was made to be more than it was. Because their marriage was ending. And they were fighting. A younger woman, an adopted, non-blood relation was involved. And even those references are speculators.

And so started the accusations of molestation and incest.

So we jump to the worst conclusion. Because instead of looking inside of ourselves we naturally leap to the worst case scenario. And from there, everything else is tainted. He said. She Said. They said. Second hand knowledge. He must have, she must be.

Not as simple as that. I defy you to argue it with me. Because as strong as your conviction, so is mine that maybe he never did anything to cause scrutiny. At the very least, not the public flogging this has become.

And at the end of the day, I look at this argument, and I stop. And I just have ask.

Frankly, why is this my business anyway?

 

Duck Dynasty Debacle

I’ve wanted to avoid the whole Duck Dynasty/Phil Robertson is a racist bigot attack, because A. It’s too easy, and B. umm, duh, this is shocking?. But now freedom of speech, Bobby Jindal and Sarah ‘didn’t she die yet?’ Palin have chimed in, so naturally I must as well.

Let’s start at the beginning for our cave dwellers out there. Duck Dynasty is this ‘reality show’ on A&E. I use reality loosely, because as we all know the only reality on TV anymore is on the nightly news. I mean, I was surprised it was shut out for best writing in a comedy series at the Emmy’s last year. Because it’s loosely scripted (read: strategically engineered interactions), and when you watch it it holds the same endearing qualities of Modern Family. You know, breaking the fourth wall:  Dear old patriarch Phil dishing his brand of old time euphemisms, the old timer/grandpa type with pithy responses to the everyday, good looking wives and families, and a moral at the end, when they are all together at dinner praying. Just call it the Modern Dukes of Hazzard Family.

I’ve watched it, and I admit, it was pretty funny. Because I saw it for what it was. It’s about as real as Pam Anderson’s tits, and with the same amount of substance.

So GQ, the epitome in men’s style and news, interviews Phil for the upcoming January issue, and low and behold, surprise surprise, middle America trapped in the past ‘Christian’ values are spewed. “…everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong … sin becomes fine.” “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there — bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” are among the observations that rolled off of this Christian’s tongue. There are also some interesting observations about how blacks were singing ‘happily’ under the Jim Crow laws of pre civil rights Southern America, and that Salt Lake city is safer than Chicago at 3 am, but the nail in the proverbial cross comes as he lumps sinners, gays and terrorists in the same group: “We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus — whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?” (by the way, thank you GQ for the quotes).

Sooooo… naturally this all gets posted to the net prior to publication, and the next thing you know, A&E takes a stand and suspends Phil from Duck Dynasty like one would a naughty sports figure, which to me reenforces the whole ‘reality’ aspect of the TV show. After all, in real life, if a parent does something bad, you banish them to their room for 10 episodes. Except in this case it resulted in an explosion of support from the conservatives, who as we all know are bitter over the fact that New Mexico just became state number 17 to approve gay marriage. Up first, our favorite oxymoronic asshat, Bobby Jindal. After all, how better to deflect your state’s obvious racism towards you and your Indian (not the native gambling ones, the terrorists) brothers than take it out on the First Amendment and Miley Cyrus?

From Time.com:

“Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana,” Jindal said in a statement. “The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV. In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views.  In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended.”

From the mouth of a genius. And suddenly the First Amendment is under fire.

Uh oh, wait, Sarah Palin needs to chime in about this too:

“Free speech is endangered species; those “intolerants” hatin’ & taking on Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing personal opinion take on us all.”

So to recap to this point, Duck Dynasty patriarch called gays dog fuckers, blacks happy slaves,  while sinners and alcoholics are terrorists, and Chicago is shady but the sister wives capital of the US is ok. This outrages the network which then puts  him on probation from the show. As a response to the injustice and bigotry, the  Indian governor of Louisiana says free speech has been violated by a wrecking ball and Miley Cyrus is a slut, then Mama bear Alaska calls everyone who is pissed about this ass backwards shit a bunch of intolerants “hatin'” on good Christian people.

I’m just waiting for Fred Phelps to protest a military funeral because they are against Duck Dynasty.

Here are the cold hard truths:

1. Freedom of speech has not been violated. Phil Robertson is an employee and money maker for the A&E network. When he makes his boss look bad, the network is put into a position, and needs to reprimand said employee for bad behavior. It would be like me working for CBS, and saying on the news, ‘Les Moonves fucks little Philippine children while Julie Chen videotapes it.’ I would think CBS would be pissed, and suspend me for saying such thing. Hell I’d be impressed if they didn’t fire me and hang me out to dry. Well guess what? That’s what happened here. Phil spoke his mind, but forgot that while he’s a person, he’s an entertainment personality for a television network first. The network knows how to deal with people who get out of line. They kick them to the curb. Phil is lucky this is a sidelining.

And BTW, I like CBS, Les Moonves does not fuck Phillipine children, nor does his wife Julie Chen videotape it.

2. Freedom of speech part 2- the Bobby Jindal commentary. Look douchebag, you are loathed for being an idiot, and what do you do? Put a terrible commentary in writing to show that you are indeed dumber than a fifth grader, and forget what the First Amendment means. The First Amendment does not state that an employer need to stand beside their employees when they spew hate. Sure Phil had every right to say what he believes. But back to point 1, when you are a personality of such magnitude, don’t think there aren’t going to be consequences for sharing such volatile opinions.

Oh, and Miley thanks you for the additional shout out, because that’s what every over exposed musician needs. More publicity showing that she’s killed Hannah Montana and got away with it.

3. Oh Sarah. You’re like Chlamydia, we think you’re gone and then you keeping rearing your ugly head again and again. Thankfully, your point has no validity here. I’m sure those  Southern boys love your solidarity, but you just look and sound as dumb as a box of hair. Go hunt bears and look at Russia from your front lawn. Even Fox doesn’t want you.

So can the Duck Commander please go quietly into the goodnight? Because your 15 minutes are up.

And I have better people to dish about. Oh, Miley…

Only the good (TV Shows) die young

While it never shocks me, it always amazes me how TV network execs play loose and fast with the life span of a TV show. Instead of giving things a chance to grow or develop a following, a show’s life can be cut short with the quick flick of a wrist.

The latest case in point… NBC cutting off procedural crime drama Prime Suspect after 13 episodes. While yeah it’s a remake of the British series that starred Helen Mirren, this reboot featuring a utterly fantastic Maria Bello, barely got a chance to get off the ground. Critics adore it, but the ratings aren’t super high. It’s also buried on Thursday nights, up against sap fest Greys Anatomy LA, er I mean Private Practice and CBS’s The Mentalist, two shows that have built up followings with strong lead ins. What’s NBC’s lead in? The Office (post Steve Carrell) and a new show, Whitney, which is funny but not strong enough to carry viewers.To boot, it’s not your typical procedural ala Law & Order (and please, do not get me started on that being pulled), it has been building some interesting character dynamics and storylines that has me hooked. Is it because Bello’s prickly Jane Timoney is multi-dimentional, unlike, say Sunday night stalwart CSI: Miami star David Carusoe, who is just… a bad actor? Or is it too intelligent for people to follow? One may never know.

And Prime Suspect falls in a long line of cancelled before their time. Of course every fanboy has their Arrested Development and Firefly (which honestly, I never watched either… am I better off though?). My concern still lies with hopeful-midseason-replacement-now-cut-to-15-episodes Cougar Town, which while probably has the worst title on tv (admitted so by the creator!), it’s also one of the funniest ensemble casts out there. Hey, who wants to play ‘Penny Can? (Penny Caaaan!)’ ?

My personal most devastating loss of all time was Twin Peaks. Yes, ‘Who Killed Laura Palmer’ dominated my life for two years in high school. I was hypnotized, seduced, could not wait to watch what happened next. But as the second season progressed,  ABC started playing games. The worst was when they would bury episodes at 2:35am. I.Kid.You. Not. Of course it was the precursor to getting shitcanned. I think Mark Frost and David Lynch started getting pissed at the mistreatment they got from the network, so they just started fucking with people’s heads toward the end. Then again… ‘Where’s Annie?” was the best show ending twist ever. And if you don’t get it, you must check this show out.

Oh network execs. You are the problem. If a show isn’t getting ratings, you start fucking around with time slots. Getting buried on Saturday night is not a solution for a fledgling drama. It’s more like a death sentence. Granted, you take risks on shows, and they don’t always pan out. Pan Am and Playboy Club, case in point. But when you have something that critics actually like, give it a chance, maybe grow a following.

And yet, it can be so random. I still have yet to figure out what the rhyme or reason was keeping According To Jim on the air for as long as it lasted. Ddid anyone watch that show? Will anyone cop to watching that show? And why is Kathy Bates getting a plum Wednesday night slot for her show Harry’s Law?  Or should I call it Ally McBeal: The Senior Years? Yawn.

So to the net execs out there, as my Thanksgiving wish, I hope you reconsider cancelling a show before you give it a fair chance. Prime Suspect in particular. I know the axe hasn’t fallen hard and fast yet, but the outlook is not good.  Reprieve is in the air.

And hope does spring eternal: I mean, Family Guy was cancelled twice, and yet it’s back on the air. Even Arrested Development is getting a second life, so maybe I need to check that one out. And hey,  they are even rebooting Dallas. The original cast is back except Victoria Principal, and looks like she was recast with Brenda Strong, Mary Alice from Desperate Housewives. Then, continuing with the Desperate Housewives theme, and to give it some young flair (maybe a few viewers too), the hunky boys from that show are being added as the next generation.

Yeah, maybe some things should just be left alone.

 

 

Dreams can come true…

If only on CSI:

Congrats to the writer who dreamed up this scene. Makes a lot of people like me happy to know that our fantasy has been realized, if only on TV.

Now, someone show me a scene where they shave his head and eyebrows!!

THIS is why M.I.A. rocks

I have to admit, to the untrained eye this would appear to be a train wreck. I myself was pumping along to it. It’s brave, it’s a big f.u. to the traditional Late Show music fare, and it was trippy with all of the dancing clones. It’s M.I.A. live on Letterman performing Born Free. Love it.

Bits and pieces of the past week

Just some random things floating around my head recently:

-The situation surrounding Constance McMillen and her school district’s controversial decision of canceling her senior prom in Jackson, Mississippi is absurd. It’s plain and simple retaliation against the teen, and it’s been very effective. ‘Thanks for ruining my senior year,’ is the type of comments she’s now getting as she’s returned to school, after the school district, rather than reverse an archaic rule that a prom date must be of the opposite sex, decided to cancel the event. She’s now been made a pariah, thrust into a hostile environment, because the school district decided to play hard ball and rather than step into the 21st century, stay in the 1950s.

-On the flip side of the gay movement, the first gays were legally married in DC this week. The cover of the Washington Post featured one of the happy couples smooching. As a result, about a dozen of subscribers ended up calling and canceling their subscription out of disgust. Maybe as a gay man I should start doing that to every mainstream paper that shows a straight couple on the cover kissing. I mean, it makes logical sense, right? Maybe it really still is the 1950’s in some people’s minds.

-Sean Hayes finally comes out of the closet to himself and to the surprise of no one I know, and gets pissed because the Advocate chastised him for not being honest sooner. You know what Sean, why don’t you and Just Jack go back into your own little world. I mean, you played an out and proud (and often over the top and childish) gay man on Will & Grace, for which you won an Emmy. But seeing that you haven’t had a career since W&G ended, I can see why you felt coming out now makes sense. ‘I’m still here, and guess what? Im gay!’ Please, I knew that 10 years ago when I saw pics of you and your ex-boyfriend Steve (an acquaintance of mine). You weren’t fooling anyone then. I just don’t understand why you had to deny it like it was something to be ashamed of. Get over yourself.

– The Oscars have come and gone for another year, and just a few (okay, 10) notes on the whole show:
1. First of all, what happened to “And the Oscar goes to…”? What was with “and the winner is” bullshit?
2. The whole Farrah and Bea Arthur exclusion from the In Memoriam… come on folks, they were best known for their television star power. Now if this were the Primetime Emmys and they were cut for Brittany Murphy, then I’d understand. But It wasn’t an intentional snub. Although I just do not understand why Michael Jackson managed to make the cut. The man was many things- musician, music video pioneer, dancer, father, freak, you get the idea- but I forget the part when he was a film star. And This Is It and The Wiz do NOT count.
3. Sandra Bullock won Best Actress. It was her Julia Roberts moment. Suck it up folks, it was inevitable. And she looked flawless. And didn’t you love her final thank you to her lover Meryl? Classic.

4. Yay to the Hurt Locker and Kathryn Bigelow for their big wins. Come on, Avatar was good, but it wasn’t Best Picture.
5. The crazy bitch who hijacked the Best Documentary Short speech… umm, you don’t like giving up control, do you? Even when you were removed from the project, and were told by the publicist that only the director was supposed to speak, you had to scurry up there and butt in and open your loud, crazy mouth. Freak.

6. Thank you Academy for none of the best original song performances, but what was up with that interpreted dance bit for original score? Worst. Idea. Ever.
7. Kathy Ireland on the Red Carpet. Train wreck. Seriously, did you see that freaky pose?
8. I think I was the only person to dig the horror film homage, especially since they started off with Jaws. But some of the choices of clips for horror film, like Edward Scissorhands? Um, really?
9. Sarah Jessica Parker is not looking very good these days. Bad dress, caked on make-up, scraggily hair. One can chalk it up to the new twins, but as my partner Rick put it, ‘Where are her gays? They should be fired for letting her go out like that.’ And on that same note, every time someone walked out looking not so hot, Rick would pipe up, ‘ooh, she has bad gays, dressing her in that.’ Made for great couch commentary.
10. Although it doesn’t have anything to do with the Oscars… at least this year. Wall Street 2 just got moved to a September release. Looks like Ollie Stone is gunning for some Oscar loving next year.

– I’m a week late on this, but Kathy Griffin on Law & Order: SVU, was…and I’m a huge fan of hers too…kind of a let down. She just did not look or feel natural at all during the entire episode. It was as if her character was written in as the annoying foil for the episode. I was bummed.

-What was that tragic thing that Emilio sent down the runway last week on Project Runway? And how the hell did he not get sent home for that?

– Mariah Carey and Mo’Nique in Precious were both FIERCE. AMAZING.

– Corey Haim, dead at 38 of a drug overdose. Sad.

– Rod Blagovich on The Celebrity Apprentice. Sadder.

– Buzz Aldrin on Dancing With The Stars. Huh?

-Spring weather is finally arriving. Pretty damn exciting.

Okay, now discuss.

New year, new look, new rants, same old stupid people

For those who haven’t noticed, it’s 2010 (That’s Twenty-ten, not two thousand and ten). So I’m trying a new look for the page. Trendy? Unnecessary? Unsightly? Perhaps. But then again, it’s my page, so why not.

Some things will not change. Like Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh… yep, they are still douche bags, particularly since they blame the people of Haiti for the earthquake devastation that befell them. That’s right, all of those devil worshipers from Haiti two centuries ago made a deal with Satan… to live in an impoverish third world country just so it all can be destroyed by mother nature and plate tectonics today, kill thousands, make people suffer even more and have the rest of the world rush to their aid to help.

Yep, that sounds like a real win/win for the people there, right?

If this was really a deal with the devil, Pat, maybe I’m dense but I don’t see where Haiti ever got the advantage in all of this. Oh, wait, maybe because that line of thinking is completely insane? Needless to say, Rush and Pat are heartless morons that need to die. And bonus to Keith Olbermann for telling them where to go and how far.

And in Chicago… we still have Todd Stroger, Cook County Board President, who vows to thank himself if he wins reelection to the board. For what, managing to stay alive and not get his ass beaten down for being a crook? Or for hypnotizing the poor of Chicago into believing that raising taxes and paying his family six figures to do nothing is good for the city? And Blago… when did being a crooked governor with the worst hair this side of Trump permit him celebrity status? The hair…aha… that’s how he managed a spot on Celebrity Apprentice. At least we have the Olympics… oooh, too soon? Whatever. But we still have great reliable public transit…just kidding again, it’s still the CTA. And they are cutting back yet again. Pay more for less service, that sounds reasonable to me. And if you have to travel after midnight, good luck after February 7. And be glad I don’t have a car to park at one of those $4.25 an hour meters.

Ooh, let’s go back to celebrities for a moment. Jay Leno and NBC… yeah, that’s a big old mess. Yeah to Conan for escaping with $45 million and his dignity, it’s way past time to escape that sinking ship. And way to go Law & Order: SVU’s Mariska Hargitay for calling out Leno and his prime time foray for bringing everyone else down. Don’t mess with Olivia Benson, Jay you half moon chinny chin chin wonder-mess, she’ll cut a bitch! And speaking of cutting bitches, who told MTV that NY trash was worth watching? That’s why they send it all to the Jersey Shore. I mean, come on, Snooki? She’s the Pillsbury doughgirl with Princess Leia’s cinnabun on top of her head. This is not entertainment. If I wanted to watch that kind of train-wreck, I’ll just ride the 36 Broadway bus on a given day.

Yep, out with the old, in with the same old. And smile like you mean it.

An open letter to Speidi

Your 15 minutes are over. Please, just go.

Mr. and Mrs. Pratt,

This letter is to formally ask you to go away. Just turn around now, you are not welcome here any more.

You are not celebrities. This may be news to your deluded ego, but not to the rest of us. You never were, and you never will be. You are spoiled rich kids that invaded MTV on a ‘reality’ show called the Hills, and let the cameras go to your head. And then left the rest of us with a hangover that lasted just a bit longer than necessary. Side note: MTV, I blame you for this, but that’s a whole other letter that involves shooting you for not playing music videos anymore.

You think you are famous. I will admit that yes, you are famous… for being the poster children of everything that is bad about reality television. It’s sad to think that Top Chef and Project Runway begat you. I do love them. But I just can’t let you soil their rich and celebrated history with your histrionics.  So it’s time you are banished.

No more TV. No more magazines. No more webisodes or YouTube or Facebook. US Weekly, Star and TMZ: you must stop paying attention to them, it only encourages even worse behavior. And frankly, we get enough of that from Janice Dickinson. Side bar to Janice- you’re hanging by a thread here missy, watch it.

No more public appearances, or pandering to the camera. No more public fueds with any one at all. No more whining and crying about being starved or tortured or being the only famous people on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I mean, the show has the wife of Rod Blagojevich on there- AND NONE OF YOU ARE A CELEBRITY!

And for Christs’ sake, leave Al Roker alone. Even if he did attack you, and maybe he should have, you deserve it. But he had one thing wrong. For him to suggest that some jungle slug crawled in your ear and ate your brain… well that would suggest you had one to begin with!

You have given birth to many ugly offspring you need to take with you, including The Real Housewives of New Jersey. And the past 15 ‘Real’ World casts that came after Pedro Zamora and the San Fran crew (except for Puck, he can go with you too). While you are at it, just take Jon and Kate- and the eight I could give two shits about- with you as well. Let them have affairs with you. Or get drunk with them. Or rot in the fourth circle of Dante’s Inferno; I don’t want to see it, I don’t care to see, I never want to hear about it again.

Exile means return to what you know. Being vapid, self absorbed douchebags, I guess. Is that a career? In Los Angeles, perhaps. What ever floats your boat. Just make sure it is far removed from the public eye. Because we don’t want to see it.

Don’t think me unreasonable. Please. Even Entertainment Weekly is wishing you gone. Be glad I haven’t placed you on the Jet of Death. You were thisclose to joining Creed in the the cockpit. I can still change my mind, you know.

So in closing, farewell. You won’t be missed. We still have Lindsey Lohan, after all, and Kathy Griffin’s Life on the D-list, both of whom have nail polish more interesting than either of you. You overstayed your welcome, and frankly, you weren’t even invited in the first place. So thanks for playing, sorry no parting gifts, it’s time to get the fuck of Dodge. Before I go and drop a house on you, too.

Oh, and don’t you EVER come back.

Love,

Jon

Idol Outings and Glass Houses

Unless you live under a rock, American Idol runner up Adam Lambert is gay. Yes girls, the eye liner doesn’t lie. He likes the guys. But what’s the big deal here?

Lambert officially comes out in this week’s Rolling Stone cover story, which features a very rock star pose. The sad thing is that 1) that this is such a frigging big deal, and 2) the cover is getting the cat calls from critics for being so gay.

First of all, my question is why this is such a big fucking deal? Welcome to 2009, America!! It’s been over a decade since Ellen broke down TV and media’s gay 5th wall, with Rosie, NPH, David Hyde Pierce and TR Knight all charging behind her. This isn’t 1980, when being gay- or straight, or a cross dresser, or a Republican for that matter- is a taboo thing. Jeez folks, can we all walk out of the closet together now??? All of the speculation may sell million of US Weekly’s and Star magazines, but let’s stop and be rational. Even if there was a question to Adam’s sexuality, who cares who he sleeps with? Do I care that Tom Cruise fucks Katie Holmes? Or that Rush Limbaugh fucks anyone at all (I know, take a moment and clear your head with that one)? No. Then why Adam?

Then there’s the cover. Oooh, a rock star posing seductively, wearing eye liner and a snake. It’s Axl Rose circa 1990! or is it Iggy Pop, circa 1978! Madonna circa 1985! Britney two years ago…okay,  you get the point. It’s some musician stretched across the cover of a magazine posing seductively so the rag sells. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet, because there’s the coming out situation around Adam, it’s a trite, stereotypical cover shot. But now we digress back to point one… who FUCKING CARES??

Point three is why am I commenting on this? I don’t watch American Idol, why am I giving credence to the hoopla? Because I feel for Adam as a person, as a celeb trapped in a bad situation, and as a gay man. You know, putting himself out there on a TV show invites speculation and plenty of trouble, but I find it salacious that it’s reflective on his sexual activity. I’m annoyed that again, in 2009, we as a public are finding a celebrity being gay, or bi, or whatever Lindsey Lohan is, fodder for the water cooler.  It only feeds into the hatred that people like that white trash redneck bigot Mike Huckabee spreads as part of their agenda to ‘purify’ America against  bad influences and witchcraft. Like gays are flying around on their Harry Potter brooms, waving their magic wands and- poof!- we snagged another unsuspecting straighty!

So it all breaks down to this: who cares who sleeps with who, as long as they are happy? Is the fact that I sleep with a man so bothersome to my neighbors that they can’t function in daily life? I think not, but I also know my neighbors pretty well, and we all get along really well. And if it does, then they are as pathetic as Dick Cheney as he still craves attention 4 months after getting the boot from office… and we all know how well he is functioning in daily life. I just find that it’s so hypocritical of society to judge who is with whom and where and why. As the old adage goes, ‘He who throws stones shouldn’t live in a glass house.’

Sadly, as Adam and this observer can attest, America’s windows seem to get blown out on a daily basis.