News of the weird and annoying

Former American idol and current Spamelot star Clay Aiken became a father today.

No I am not making this up. That statement alone should be setting off alarms in everyone’s head.

Yes it’s true, someone actually had a baby with Mr. Aiken. And no, it wasn’t kd lang, for as everyone knows, like Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clay is kd.

There are so many things wrong with this factoid that I can barely begin to list them. Clay Gaykin, reproducing? Did the kid come out with soft androgynous features and a mullet? Will Aiken Jr be an alsoran on American Idol 2025? Why isn’t this running as a SciFi Channel special report? How will the Claymates react?

Read more, if you dare, here.

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Now this link made me laugh out loud…

Yahoo! has their trendy and trashy version of TMZ, called OMG!. It’s a bit ridiculous and unnecessary, but as I was browsing through, there was an actual heading that said ‘Trainwrecks’. Curiosity got the best of me, and I clicked the link, and was brought to a page with about a dozen Amy Winehouse news blurbs, with the occasionally Heather Mills and Christy Brinkley bulletin thrown in as well.

While I hardly call the former Mrs. Billy Joel a train wreck (I mean, come on, she’s no Nick Nolte), the Winehouse bulletins were hysterical. My favorite has to be:Dad: Amy Winehouse Could Die “Slow and Painful Death”

Gotta love it when even your dad is routing for you.

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Brett Farve… who else is sick of hearing about his sob story?

I mean, what a cry baby. First, he retired. Then he wanted to come back. ‘They made me do it,’ he said. Yes Brett, they put a gun to your head and said retire or die.

Then he got to come back, although wisely, the rest of the team moved on without his. So they traded him… to the Jets. Boy, they certainly didn’t want him hanging around the Midwest at all. I guess Siberia didn’t have room on their roster for him either.

The not so bad part is that I’ve heard so much about it without even wanting or caring to that I had a really strange and very hot beach fantasy sex dream with him in it the other night.

Hey I never said I’d kick him out of bed…

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and finally, I leave you with this:

Snoop Dogg makes Bollywood debut

To quote Nina Garcia, ‘no comment’.