To quote Shirley Manson, 'A Stupid Girl…'

Ahh, the joys of online surfing and Facebook!

Quite a few blogs back, I mentioned the idiot associate of mine who felt compelled to quit on no notice because, well, I had her on final written warning for poor attendance, bad attitude, no availability, etc.  She was a waste of space, and customers rejoiced when she finally left. Sadly, the girl didn’t realize that by quitting instead of letting me laying her off (cutting her back to no hours), she would fail to be considered for unemployment. No, she thought she was getting the upper hand, that she was putting the screws to me.

Please.

Well, today as I scanned Facebook, one of my photo cronies happens to be ‘friends’ with her. Probably because she berated him into it… either that or, knowing him, he felt he could make fun of her more with unlimited access to ammunition. In either case, out of curiosity I thought I check out her site.

Oh, wow.

To quote Barney from ‘How I met Your Mother’, wait for it…

In her ‘About Me’ section, she rambled on about her life, which led into what I must say a near libelous account of me. Curious as well? Well, here it is:

There are so many things to know about me……A lot has changed since most of you knew me in highschool……I live in Chicago, My favorite food is Pizza from Golden Crust…..I spend a lot of my time playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion on the 360 that i bought my fiance for his birthday…..i spend most of time at work, but thats going to change because my manager and my district manager are assholes!(Fire me already bitches cause i’m not fucking quitting!!!) They want me gone, but have no reason to fire me so they are cutting back my hours trying to get rid of me! stupid fucking cunts!

Mind you, she quit in September.

Now, normally I would be extraordinarily pissed about these slanderous comments.Instead this gave me the best laugh I’ve had in eons. I mean, doubled over near tears in laughter.

Why am I not pissed, you ask? Well, any sane person with a fraction of common sense wouldn’t be. But I’m not because 1) they (these comments) are so not true… if anything, i’m a dick, not a cunt, and 2) I am not the stupid fucking cunt who marked herself for the whole world to see as a complete imbecile on Facebook. Oh, and 3) the line about spending most of her time at work? Umm, that would require you to a) show upon time, b) not call off, and c) actually do something that consituted the word ‘work’.

Doubled. over. in. laughter.

The best part? This find falls nearly 3 days after she had the NERVE to show up in the store with a gift of said photo pal, with her friends and family in tow. Color me crazy, but you wouldn’t see me walking my entourage back into a place that caused me so much torment, but that’s just me. Any way, the icing was when she said, in what I have to believe was a true moment of kindness (or sheer angst-y jealousy), “Wow, the store looks good, Jon.’

I usually take a compliment for what it was, but in this case, I secretly hoped it made her choke on her own Cheetos breathe.

Anywho, thought some of you might enjoy what a partisan person thinks of me.

Quitters are losers

I’ve had two girls quit my store this week, one welcomed, the other quite by surprise. Let me start with the tale of my  problem who finally picked up the clue phone.

My one sales associate, she of calling off sick with a headache, finally quit Wednesday. Without any notice. Which is fine, because as of October 1, her hours were going down to very little anyway.

The sad thing is that she thinks she’s the big winner in all of this, that by her quitting she screwed me and thus satisfied her animosity towards me… which incidentally she actually told customers about. Customers, who like me and not her so much, felt compelled to come to me and tell me about the derogatory and unprofessional things she was spouting off about.

Anywho, yeah she quit. I actually suggested it was in her best interest not to, and of course her being the know it all she is, was defiant and couldn’t fathom why it would be. Uh, well, because you can’t claim unemployment, you just shot any chance of a reference out the window, and because it just shows you to be the petty, unprofessional child that you are. But then again, what do I know?

I’m a bit angry she left without notice, only because it cut into time with my mom. But then I think about the less drama I am having to deal with, and the security that I have 4 other reliable associate who do hard and good work, show up on time and don’t bring their personal life into work, and I guess I consider myself lucky. Sure, i have to work a few more hours, but at least I feel better at the end of the day.

I only hope she can learn from this, and in hindsight see that it was her actions (and inaction), her behavior and bad attitude that brought her to this end, not some random conspiracy theory that I was out to get her. I mean, do we really need to have Oliver Stone investigate and make a movie out of it? I could be played by Russell Crowe… and she, by Courtney Love.

My second sales associate, she who worked at total of one day, and that being Monday, appears to have abandoned ship as well.

She called in on Wednesday, minutes before her shift, crying about the drama that was her ex boyfriend and how she was unable to come in to work in her state of mind. Being that I liked this girl and wanted to give her a chance, though annoyed at the reasoning behind the call off, simply said don’t worry, come in Friday instead, but in the future just call a bit earlier with notice rather than at the last minute.

Friday came, and she never showed. I tried to call her, but only got her voice mail, and I expressed my concern in a message that she was alright, and to give us a call.

Saturday came, and again no call, no show. I tried calling again, this time even calling her mom. No answer. Then I pulled a sneaky, and called from my cell phone. She answered, but when I said ‘Hi it’s Jon’, she hung up on me! I calmly called back, got her voice mail, and left a message along the lines of, ‘I’m not sure what happened, sorry to see you leave, best of luck.’

I hung up and started cursing her name. Flake.

I have no clue what happened, if she got another job, if she just changed her mind, if she has mental issues… she interviewed great, and was fantastic on her first day. I did have problem child spend some time with her, which me and the rest of my staff is starting to wonder about. Maybe she poisoned the well? Who knows. She’s gone now, and it’s back to the hiring sign in the window.

And I’m back down to 3 staff members and myself, with a fourth guy starting in a week as a transfer from out of state. We all joke that maybe we should just hire men from now on, as they are the ones who seem to stick around.

Fuck I hate flaky people.