Remake overkill redux

I just don’t understand why when something is done, why not leave it alone.
A few weeks back I commented on the Ab Fab reboot which has me nervous. But as I scanned the news blurbs at EW.com today, I just got more and more annoyed that Hollywood seems to be stuck in this remake glut.

Case #1: Russell Brand, that one trick pony from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is considering a remake of 1991’s Drop Dead Fred. Does anyone else see the problem with this? First of all, does anyone remember this movie? If you did and saw it in the theatre, I’m sure you wanted your money back. If you caught it on cable, I’m sure you were begging Cinemax for 90 minutes of your life back. This movie was a FLOP, and now they want to subject us to a remake? Where is the logic here?

Case #2: the Star Trek franchise reboot, although I’m torn about this one. It looks really good, I mean REALLY good, and has a pedegree cast. And the story line is technically a reimaging of the introduction of Kirk to the lore. Okay, maybe this one is a necessity.

Case #3:  A Nightmare on Elm Street is being reborn, this time with Jackie Earl Haley as Freddie Krugger. Intriguingly, it is filming here in Chicago, so I’m kind of interested, in a sheer curiosity factor of where are they filming kind of way.  But after, what, 6 of them in the original series, why go back and redo it? And barely 2 decades later? Halloween and Friday the 13th remakes we never as good as their orginals, although yes they made money, they were simply less invested in character and more invested in gore. Is this Freddy really going to do anything different? Really, does ANYONE remember the girl who played Laurie Strode in the Halloween remake?  But everyone knows who Jamie Lee Curtis is, right? Point.

I can go on. They are reviving the Predator franchise (although that one never really died, it just kind of hung on life support painfully with the Aliens), the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are coming back (please. kill. me. now.),  and in the greatest sin of all they are redoing the Karate Kid. Jaden Smith (Will and Jada Pinkett’s son) is the titular kid, and Jackie Chan… oh yes, Mr. Rush Hour himself… is Mr. Miyagi. Pat Morita is SCREAMING from his grave over that one.

What is it, not only are we in a financial economic crisis, but an idea crisis as well? Why are we recycling the stale and half baked ideas that didn’t fly the first time around? I mean, to try and improve may be a slight justification, but shit is shit folks, even when you spray Lysol on it.

Please Hollywood, the remakes must stop. Now.